My grandmother has developed a habit of falling on her way home from Bridge Club. Her most recent tumble took place while she was carrying a bag full of fresh berries; as her body hit the pavement her precious cargo went catapulting into the air. Sitting upright on the New York sidewalk, her tiny frame shaking post-fall, she only had two questions for passersby: “Is my fruit bruised?” and “Can you call my husband?”
Of course, it's also possible that there’s anger, resentment, or deeper issues going on. If that's the case, Mintz says you shouldn't be using sex as a weapon — that's only going to cause more harm in the relationship — and should instead be honest about how you're feeling. If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own (or discussing it when your partner does), she suggests seeing a therapist, who can help the two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way.
The elders suggest you think about whether your future spouse will be a “good provider.” It’s an old-fashioned term, but it embodies a fundamental truth: marriage may be about love, but it’s also an economic arrangement that unites the financial futures of the partners. So women (and men, too) need to ask: Does my prospective mate like to work? Will he or she hold up their end financially? And can they responsibly handle money? The elders told story after story of having to carry the economic load and handle someone else’s debts and bad financial decisions.
What a stressful article! I mean, “Look sexy, get kinky, be aggressive, give him space, take care of yourself, don’t be a drama queen, don’t try so hard…” Blah blah blah!!! Be you. Be as crazy and assertive and talkative and love yourself the way you are. Don’t break your back trying to look how you think he wants you to look, or force yourself into an uncomfortable sexual encounter because you don’t want him to get bored and wonder off… Men need to be held accountable too! And if you are doing everything to make him stay, you’re only going to resent him for not putting in as much effort. And he won’t. Because he’s a dude. So just be you and find someone you don’t feel the need to CHANGE or CHANGE FOR.
As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" This advice definitely applies to finding a balance between your ambitions and your love life. Loving yourself means honoring your own power, confidently prioritizing your work, and knowing that you deserve fulfillment in both areas of your life. That being said, sometimes you just need a little encouragement and advice from some empowered, successful, and wise women to figure things out. So read on for some insights from truly boss women.
For many women, the ambition we can attribute much of our success to in life is also the voice that can be our own harshest critic. It propels us forward in our lives while simultaneously delivering low blows to our self-esteem when we deliver anything less than perfection. By learning to observe and hit the mute button on that voice in our heads, we discover the truth about ourselves, learn to love ourselves wholeheartedly, and set ourselves up for the relationships we desire and deserve.
But not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins — of words, thoughts, feelings — and the desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are for it.
I don’t believe that finding your partner is 'a numbers game' and I don’t think you get anywhere by dating 'like it’s your job.' You have to believe that you are enough, as you are—and look for the partner who thinks so, too. Find the partner whose eyes light up when you talk about your ambition and the things that really matter to you. Anyone who makes you feel you’re not enough or you’re too much is not your soulmate.
Although Taurus and the Aquarius man potentially have a great deal to teach one another, this is generally a disastrous pairing. The Water-bearer tends to be highly unpredictable and cares more about friendships than romantic entanglements, failing to give the Bull the emotional affirmations that she secretly needs. The Taurus woman is slow to adapt to change, and by the time this duo figures things out, the flighty Aquarius may be on the way out.
“Women are open. They believe, they subscribe, and they go all in. They will do what it takes to meet the man of their dreams and put themselves out there,” says professional matchmaker, Susan Trombetti. “They are more social, they are happy a lot of the times, and in this generation of women, they are the best version of themselves: educated, great friends, independent, great careers, and great family. They have a lot to offer someone.”