If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable. Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you. You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
"Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they're known as the 'Four Horsemen of Divorce.' Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner's goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. Also, focus on using 'I' vs. 'you' language."
Falling in love is relatively simple. It's staying in love that's the tricky part. Mr. Chapman has identified what he calls the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Knowing how different people show and express their love is a good first step toward understanding them--and appreciating their loving behaviors.
If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. "Next time you're masturbating, make some noise," she says. "You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex." Otherwise, saying anything that's praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.
The information on these pairings is intended to be only a starting point, since there are many planetary comparisons involved. It is important to know as much as possible the date when your relationship began. The planetary transits of this date may affect either or both of you and should be free of personal planet retrogrades. Consulting an adept psychic or astrologer can sort out all these comparisons and accurately weigh their importance. Confirmation can be provided for things you already know. This warm, friendly reassurance can go a long way toward making a decision to go forward together and helps greatly to answer the question, “Is he the one?” May you find love – and keep it!
It can be difficult to live with another person – turn your eyes to the good as a practice. If you focus on the times they forgot to take the rubbish out or buy the milk, you will be frustrated. If you focus on the times they held you when you were sick or sent you an afternoon text, you both will be a lot happier. Choose to focus on the positive as your standard modus operandi. The more you practice, the better you will get.
"This may sound obvious, but you can't imagine how many people come to couples therapy too late, when their partner is done with a relationship and wants to end it. It is very important to realize that everyone potentially has a breaking point, and if their needs are not met or they don't feel seen by the other, they will more than likely find it somewhere else. Many people assume that just because they are OK without things they want so is their partner. 'No relationship is perfect' shouldn't be used as a rationalization for complacency."
So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. "If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains. "Instead, set aside a time to talk when the situation has passed."
"Listening is a skill and a communication tool most people don't do very well," says Ray. When you give your partner your undivided attention, it allows them to feel both heard and appreciated. When you show curiosity about who they are and what they're up to, it not only indicates your interest in their life but makes them feel unique and special.
“When you show me you know how to make plans and you put me into your busy schedule, it shows me that I'm a priority and makes me feel important. Spontaneity is fun and great here and there, but a woman like me is grinding right now and doesn't always have the luxury of that. So show me you respect my time and let me know things in advance. Whether we're in the early getting to know phase or deeply committed, my little boo thing – whatever – if you want my time you have to value it.” -- Natelege W., 27
Still, it's tough not to take it personally when he's getting off by looking at another woman. To help tamper that, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography and discussing it. "Ask him what about it turns him on, and [express without anger] what turns you off," he says. That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity, and closeness without him feeling like he's doing something shameful, while you can figure out what you're OK with accepting and what you're not.
"Saying and doing small, simple expressions of gratitude every day yields big rewards. When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they're happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger. And when I say simple, I really mean it. Make small gestures that show you're paying attention: Hug, kiss, hold hands, buy a small gift, send a card, fix a favorite dessert, put gas in the car, or tell your partner, 'You're sexy,' 'You're the best dad,' or simply say 'Thank you for being so wonderful.'"
It’s normal to feel pressure as you watch your friends get married and have children, but remember that every person’s path is different. “You don’t want to settle down with a guy who’s not right for you. Therefore, release the pressure you place on yourself to lock down your next date as your future husband. Take each date one date at a time and have fun,” says Mills.
Meet people where they meet you — don't over-invest in anyone that's not investing in you. Dating is like every other relationship in your life whether it be a work relationship or friendship. You're not going to be chasing down a client that doesn't show interest, so why would you do that with a partner? Value your time, value our energy, value your heart. If you treat yourself with respect, other people will do the same.
"Whether it is a professional athlete or a CEO, when I ask my clients, 'Why her?'...the feedback is almost always the same. TEARS! Seriously, big burly guys that you would never imagine being emotional. The response is often they are just grateful for her. Grateful she let him in his life. Grateful of a specific experience the two shared. Simply, a large of amount of gratitude which led to him wanting to spend eternity with his chosen one. Even without a partner, studies show that when we are grateful, The Universe gladly makes more show up in your life for which to be grateful. Next up for you...a +1!"
"A big mistake people make when dating someone new is to bring all of their fears, concerns, and past negative relationship experiences to their current relationship," says Ray. She explains that in the more than 26 years of speaking to singles, she's heard that they do not want to hear about their date's past relationships on first or second dates. She insists that you should be keeping your thoughts and conversations focused on the person you're currently dating and on getting to know them. (You shouldn't be interrogating them on their past, either.)
Women’s requirements and feelings can differ to those of men, both physically and emotionally when it comes to relationship advice, therefore, our the team behind our relationship forum have decided that it would be best to create a separate relationship advice for women forum for all of the girls to participate in when asking relationship advice for girls questions. Women may have hormonal issues that are affecting their relationships and physiologically they’re completely different to men, they have separate reproductive systems, women normally have wider hips than men, men have denser bones, on average men weigh 15% more than woman, men have a Y chromosome, women have a second X chromosome, the point is, they’re both completely different, especially when it comes to love and relationships.
"If the guy doesn't say something and take the check off the table to pay, it's probably fair to assume that you're going Dutch. There are different reasons that a guy might not pick up the tab (some that might not have anything to do with you), but if you're into him, avoid looking too disappointed. You don't want him to think you expected it." —Josh F.