For many women, the ambition we can attribute much of our success to in life is also the voice that can be our own harshest critic. It propels us forward in our lives while simultaneously delivering low blows to our self-esteem when we deliver anything less than perfection. By learning to observe and hit the mute button on that voice in our heads, we discover the truth about ourselves, learn to love ourselves wholeheartedly, and set ourselves up for the relationships we desire and deserve.
Perhaps one of the most charming love advice quotes, “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you”, written by AA Milne in Winnie-the-Pooh, reflects the beautiful reality of true love. When you really love someone, it’s hard to imagine life without them. So what is the love advice you need to create your best life together? Here is some genuinely good love advice based on enduring adages we know to be true.
True to the Twin archetype of your sign, there is another side to you that people don’t often see. You would prefer to not be single. You are at your best when you are in a dynamic, yet stable relationship. You prefer a relationship that is caring and tender, and even romantic – but never boring. Your ideal partner will give you plenty of freedom to socialize, exchange ideas, and be yourself while at the same time being a reliable and tested foundation of strength for you. Your partner must be intelligent, interesting, social, and like to talk. You also need someone to be there for you unconditionally when you feel the need to withdraw and be nurtured.
Sometimes it’s a grandparent or a best friend that shares a word of advice about relationships which really sticks. Sometimes you discover by doing, or not doing, something in your relationship. Wherever it originates, the most important pieces of love advice are the nuggets of wisdom which have a discernible impact on the every day in your relationship. Here are 5 unique but timeless pieces of love advice that are actually helpful:
"The number one thing I have learned about love is that it is a trade and a social exchange, not just a feeling. Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too. When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends. That is why it is important to pay attention to what you and your partner actually do for each other as expressions of love... not just how you feel about each other in the moment."
Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. "Sex," she says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."
"The one quality that impacts relationships the most is being accountable. When you can admit your mistakes it gets rid of blame and invites the other person to do the same. Think about the relationships in your life that are the most fulfilling. You are open and less defensive. You're willing to look at yourself and not just blame the other person."
The fiery Sagittarius man is airy Gemini’s opposite sign, and opposites do attract. Both are lifelong seekers and love to learn and teach. Both will love to explore and travel as well, but sometimes Gemini needs to withdraw before opening up again. The Archer may not understand this need. This pairing could work if Sagittarius allows Gemini some downtime and if markers of stability are present.
"Please don't compare us to your exes—out loud or even in your head. Sometimes horror stories about them can make for fun discussion, but don't ever bring your ex into the conversation if it's not called for. When I hear about a girl's man, I'm assuming we probably shouldn't be on that date period. If she literally can't keep his name out of her mouth for a couple of hours, it makes me feel like she's clearly not over past issues. I don't want to pick up a saved video game: I'm here to start new."
If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable. Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you. You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
It can be difficult to live with another person – turn your eyes to the good as a practice. If you focus on the times they forgot to take the rubbish out or buy the milk, you will be frustrated. If you focus on the times they held you when you were sick or sent you an afternoon text, you both will be a lot happier. Choose to focus on the positive as your standard modus operandi. The more you practice, the better you will get.
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Taurus and the Virgo man share a predictable, down-to-earth nature and generally tranquil disposition. However, the sexual side of this relationship can be difficult to foster. If Taurus can put up with Virgo’s tendency towards obsessive perfectionism, this pair can enjoy a long life together. For the Taurus woman committed to making this match work, a psychic is a good source of love advice.
Recently I was asked by a friend what relationship advice for women was actually essential. Honestly, dating and relationship advice is super easy to come by on the internet. I mean, I’ve personally written hundreds of articles about it, adding up to hundreds of thousands of words. And that’s just a drop in the ocean of other relationship advice out there.
In a long-term relationship, an easy trap to fall into is to take your partner for granted. Remind yourself what you admire about them. Don’t push their boundaries; understand that they are an entirely separate and different individual to yourself. Give your partner the space and appreciation for what they bring to your life, and show respect by taking their wishes, values and ideas into consideration. A little respect and appreciation will go a long way.
"I get frustrated when I feel like I'm constantly the one driving the conversation—it happens to me a lot and it feels a little unfair. It's hard to get the sense that I'm getting to know someone when I'm tasked with doing all the talking. On the flip side though, it's a rough night when a girl goes on about herself at length without asking me anything about myself. I like it best when someone can counter me with questions of their own." —Noah A.
“I always thought that love was about desire — being with someone, holding someone, feeling someone. But it isn’t necessarily. Love can come in lots of different ways and lots of different guises.” That’s the British artist Tracey Emin in a May 2012 BBC interview. She’s talking about her experience as a single woman artist nearing 50, but it’s a great reminder for all of us, no matter our relationship status or age. Not only can love be found everywhere — in an idea, an experience, a lover, a friend, etc. — but it’s like compound interest: the more you have the more you get. The trick is being open. As Emily Dickinson wrote, “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.”
That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
"Whether it is a professional athlete or a CEO, when I ask my clients, 'Why her?'...the feedback is almost always the same. TEARS! Seriously, big burly guys that you would never imagine being emotional. The response is often they are just grateful for her. Grateful she let him in his life. Grateful of a specific experience the two shared. Simply, a large of amount of gratitude which led to him wanting to spend eternity with his chosen one. Even without a partner, studies show that when we are grateful, The Universe gladly makes more show up in your life for which to be grateful. Next up for you...a +1!"