[After Mel], I also went out with Mick Jagger. I’m a lyric in “Some Girls” — the Chinese girl referenced is me. I had a very good boyfriend whom I met in Milan. He was very rich — his father was a car designer in France. Through him I met a lot of famous people, including my good friend, Ahmet Ertegun, who was the chairman of Atlantic Records. He was insane! The funniest person I have ever met. He was in his 50s and snorting coke, drinking, smoking dope all at the same time, rambling. Anyway, through him I met The Stones. It was all very casual.
Trust your instincts from the very first contact with a potential boyfriend. Did he get a little too drunk on your initial dates? A man who can’t get through the early stages of a relationship without using alcohol may have substance abuse issues. Is he perpetually late, always offering bogus excuses? He doesn’t value your time so don’t expect him to suddenly be punctual when you need him to be somewhere important. Do you get a sense he is hiding something when he finds reasons why you can never come to his place? Key into your visceral responses when you pick up vibes that don’t sit right with you. Don’t make the mistake so many women make, thinking that all these negative behaviors will change once he falls in love with you. They won’t. They may even get worse.
In a long-term relationship, an easy trap to fall into is to take your partner for granted. Remind yourself what you admire about them. Don’t push their boundaries; understand that they are an entirely separate and different individual to yourself. Give your partner the space and appreciation for what they bring to your life, and show respect by taking their wishes, values and ideas into consideration. A little respect and appreciation will go a long way.
The fiery Sagittarius man is airy Gemini’s opposite sign, and opposites do attract. Both are lifelong seekers and love to learn and teach. Both will love to explore and travel as well, but sometimes Gemini needs to withdraw before opening up again. The Archer may not understand this need. This pairing could work if Sagittarius allows Gemini some downtime and if markers of stability are present.
How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include (or betray) the other. "For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use sex toys or letting other men look at her," Dr. Kort says. "For her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy." Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties, so talk to your partner outside of the bedroom and see if this is something one (or both of you) might be interested in.
"I get frustrated when I feel like I'm constantly the one driving the conversation—it happens to me a lot and it feels a little unfair. It's hard to get the sense that I'm getting to know someone when I'm tasked with doing all the talking. On the flip side though, it's a rough night when a girl goes on about herself at length without asking me anything about myself. I like it best when someone can counter me with questions of their own." —Noah A.
You know that feeling you get when you know something isn’t quite right? If your date can’t answer simple questions about where he works or acts super shady, chances are something weird is going on. “Listen to what your gut is telling you,” says Mills. And that goes for behaviors too. If he’s already getting on your nerves and it’s only the first date that’s another indicator that you’re just not going to work.
I was born in Trinidad. I’m the fourth of 12 children. When I was young, there was this guy who came around — everybody’s eyes were on him. I was young — 17, 18. This guy was slim with a nice ‘fro. I told everyone, “Leave him. I want him.” And guess what? He chose my sister! And today, they’re still married. They’ve been married for about 50 years. All of us remain close.
“An intelligent man wants to ultimately spend his life with a woman with whom he knows he shares complimentary energies with. He wants to feel like him and his woman are solid, because nothing can throw them off base, because the flow of their connection is just so grounded, that nothing can come in between that— not reason, not logic, not lies, not insecurities, not doubts and not fears. Men don't talk about this, but this is what intelligent men innately crave, and they don't want anything less. They want something solid. They don't want to be with women who want to be with guys who don't respect them or who try to make them jealous all the time; they don't want to be with women who need to feel like there's a game that's being played. So, contrary to popular belief, men do want something real, even more real than what many women dream of! And it's not about other people and what they think is real; it's about just him and her and what they know is real. But you can never fake making a man believe this is the kind of connection that you have with him, because you can't fake energies! At the end of the day, if you're that woman, then you're that woman and he's that man for you. Your connection through your energies will just flow through everything— walls, distance, time, fears— you'll be solid.”
We moved to Berkeley together in the early 70s, when they had guerrilla theater. We started doing street theater together; it was so boring and so bad. Mel was studying for his masters and couldn’t get a job, so I became a telephone operator. It was the best job I ever had. I made a good living and made a life for both of us in Berkeley. Then Mel got an invitation to do his Doctorate at NYU, so we drove from Berkeley to New York. He became a professor; taught theater. Eventually we separated, but he was my best friend; my first love — we took care of each other. He died last year.
In romantic rhetoric, there is this idea of finding your missing half in a partner. However, an honest piece of love advice is that the best way to create a healthy relationship is to create a healthy relationship with yourself. Your partner can’t complete the missing parts of your own insecurity. Only you can fill that space, and relying on another person to make you feel complete can lead to a co-dependent relationship, creates too much expectation and is a heavy burden for a relationship to carry.
"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.