Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
True to the Twin archetype of your sign, there is another side to you that people don’t often see. You would prefer to not be single. You are at your best when you are in a dynamic, yet stable relationship. You prefer a relationship that is caring and tender, and even romantic – but never boring. Your ideal partner will give you plenty of freedom to socialize, exchange ideas, and be yourself while at the same time being a reliable and tested foundation of strength for you. Your partner must be intelligent, interesting, social, and like to talk. You also need someone to be there for you unconditionally when you feel the need to withdraw and be nurtured.
tags: advice, advice-for-daily-living, advice-for-life, advice-for-men, advice-for-women, be-encouraged, believe, believe-and-achieve, believe-in-yourself, believers, better-on-the-way, breakthrough, breakthrough-experiences, breakthrough-is-coming, breakthrough-quote, breakthroughs, do-it-anyway, encouragement, encouragement-quotes, encouragement-today, future, future-focused, future-inspirational, future-plans, future-prediction, future-present, future-quotes, germany-kent, germany-kent-quote, germany-kent-quotes, get-back-up, hang-in-there, hang-in-there-quotes, hang-on, have-hope, hope, hope-and-despair, hope-for-each-day, hope-guru, hope-quotes, hopeful, hopeful-and-encouraging, hopeful-quotes, inspirational-life, inspirational-life-guidance, inspirational-motivational, just-do-it, keep-believing, keep-hope-alive, keep-pushing, keep-pushing-forward, learn-from-failure, life, life-and-living, life-lessons, life-phases, life-philosophy-inspirational, life-philosophy-life-lessons, life-philosophy-lifelong-learner, life-philosophy-philosophy, life-philosophy-quotes, life-purpose, life-quotes, lift-others, live, live-and-learn, live-learn-quotes, live-your-best-life, live-your-life, live-your-life-mission, motivational-speaker, motivational-speaker-quotes, moving-forward, next-chapter, next-level, no-complaints, no-excuses, rise, self-help-authors, the-best-is-yet-to-come, the-hope-guru, think-positive, today, today-is-a-great-new-beginning, today-is-later, today-is-the-day, today-is-your-day, today-quotes, you-can, you-can-break-through, you-can-do-it, you-matter, your-life-has-value, your-life-matters

Trust your instincts from the very first contact with a potential boyfriend.  Did he get a little too drunk on your initial dates?  A man who can’t get through the early stages of a relationship without using alcohol may have substance abuse issues.  Is he perpetually late, always offering bogus excuses?  He doesn’t value your time so don’t expect him to suddenly be punctual when you need him to be somewhere important.  Do you get a sense he is hiding something when he finds reasons why you can never come to his place?  Key into your visceral responses when you pick up vibes that don’t sit right with you.  Don’t make the mistake so many women make, thinking that all these negative behaviors will change once he falls in love with you.  They won’t.  They may even get worse.

With that in mind, I spoke to three women over the age of 70 to hear about the first time they fell in love, the ways love transforms over time, and their thoughts about all things romance-related today. Their wisdom has both inspired and resonated with me — all three perspectives are vastly different, and yet rich with history, emotion and nostalgia. I learned that experience in the present may be transient, but some memories are more powerful from a distance. And when revisiting the past, love is a lens that adds both color and clarity.
Who doesn’t love you, Gemini? You are versatile, witty, charming, and dazzle like a perfectly faceted jewel. Your keen eye for fashion feeds your amazing taste and you always look impeccable. Your general knowledge about nearly everything helps you to contribute to any conversation. However, as you are an air sign, you like it best when communication moves swiftly, or you will likely get bored.
So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. "If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains. "Instead, set aside a time to talk when the situation has passed."
It's believed that men are so consumed by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But that couldn't be further from the truth. "[There are] plenty of men who feel very self-conscious about their weight, or parts of their body, and really are affected by this in the bedroom," says Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection?," "Have I gained too much weight?" and, "Will I be able to please her?"
For me, it’s about knowing when to step into my powerful, assertive self in my work life, and then switching gears to relish in my divine feminine side in a romantic relationship. To me, this means asking for my partner's help and advice, showing him my appreciation, nurturing him, and embodying sensuality for him. And the key part of relishing in being feminine in my relationship means being just as powerful with my partner as I am in my work life.
Perform mental health check-ins from time to time:  Does being with him make you happy or do come away from your dates feeling troubled or angry?  Do you feel lifted up when you think of him?  Is he respectful of you, your work and your passions or does he denigrate them?  Most importantly, does he find value in you and what you contribute to his life?  Do you find value in him and what he contributes to yours?
"If the guy doesn't say something and take the check off the table to pay, it's probably fair to assume that you're going Dutch. There are different reasons that a guy might not pick up the tab (some that might not have anything to do with you), but if you're into him, avoid looking too disappointed. You don't want him to think you expected it." —Josh F.

One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. "As a woman ages and the relationship goes on, [many] stop being spontaneously horny," she explains. "A lot of men and women don't know this, so they wait to be [turned on] to have sex...But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex."

The worst relationship I ever had was also the most important one of my young life, in that I learned more about myself from that year-long ordeal than from any other. I was 18, and as often happens with first love, was completely blind to the fact that I was being manipulated and taken advantage of. My mother knew, of course, and while she could see the eventual train wreck at the end of that relationship, she let it happen because she knew I had to feel that hurt, face his betrayal and manipulation, and stand up for myself in the aftermath of that injury to my heart and ego. I’m sure she warned me in many small ways, but she never stood in the way of what must have been, from her perspective, an excruciating progression from infatuation to heartbreak. When I’d finally had enough, and I ended the relationship once and for all, she sat on the floor of my room as I tearfully exorcised my pain by cleaning out my closet. Again, I don’t remember what she did say to me that day, but I treasure what she did not say, something I don’t know that I would have been able to keep to myself. She sat there as I cried and helped me put clothing in bags for donation, and never, not once, did she say”I told you so.

"Don't take your love for granted. Love is like a plant, it needs to be nurtured so it will continue to grow. Without water and sunlight, it will die. This is why it is so important to make time for things like date night, whether it is once a week or once a month. The key is to continue to make the other one feel special and loved — to enjoy each other's company and have fun."


It can be difficult to live with another person – turn your eyes to the good as a practice. If you focus on the times they forgot to take the rubbish out or buy the milk, you will be frustrated. If you focus on the times they held you when you were sick or sent you an afternoon text, you both will be a lot happier. Choose to focus on the positive as your standard modus operandi. The more you practice, the better you will get.
That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
Once you're in the bedroom (and aware of his insecurities), remind him of how much you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked. Other key areas to compliment: His gut, as men often worry about the size of it (and other measurable parts), and their hair, as guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it.
I have never felt like I missed out on a marriage or a child. I decided to make a life out of taking care of other people’s children — they are all my children. And my family has so many children who love me all the same. The life that I had growing up was too tough for me. I grew up deprived and I definitely did not want that for a child. I never wanted to bring a child onto this earth unless I could support that child and give it everything that it wanted.
"Like many people, I grew up believing that marriage required self-sacrifice. Lots of it. My wife, Linda, helped me see that I didn’t have to become a martyr and sacrifice my own happiness in order to make our marriage work. She showed me that my responsibility in creating a fulfilling and joyful life for myself was as important as anything else that I could do for her or the kids. Over the years, it’s become increasingly clear to me that my responsibility to provide for my own well-being is as important as my responsibility to others. This is easier said than done, but it is perhaps the single most important thing we can do to ensure that our relationship will be mutually satisfying."
This is a no-brainer and it's no secret that both men and women are different, both physically and physiologically, but they're very different beyond just what the eyes can see. Those in the lab (scientists) generally tend to study four different areas when it comes to analyzing the differences between male and female brains, these include: activity, structure, chemistry and processing. This also includes differences in potential diseases that both sex's are more vulnerable to, however, also the differences in requirements when it comes to a satisfying love life.
First (and most important), promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. Kort says. "Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different scenarios that feel comfortable for both of you," he adds.

One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. "As a woman ages and the relationship goes on, [many] stop being spontaneously horny," she explains. "A lot of men and women don't know this, so they wait to be [turned on] to have sex...But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex."
But not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins — of words, thoughts, feelings — and the desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are for it.

Life is busy. There's always so much to do, so much to accomplish, and so much left undone and unaccomplished at the end of the day! While being busy and motivated can be energizing, it can also be tricky to find a balance between your ambitions and your personal life. Taking the time to nourish both aspects of your life is super important, but sacrificing one for the sake of the other can be detrimental to your overall happiness. As you're figuring out your career and your love life, consider this love advice for ambitious women.
"It's really attractive when a girl takes initiative in bed; a guy won't think any less of you. It doesn't always need to be a tit for tat thing with giving and receiving. The norm of so many of my relationships has been doing 80 percent of the work and taking 80 percent of the initiative in the bedroom. I can't explain how refreshing it is when it feels like it's 50-50." Greg G.
×