Everyone has their own opinions of what should and shouldn't be done in a relationship, but not everyone can afford professional counselling to solve their relationship issues and rely on sorting it out themselves. The only issue here is that everyone is worried about reaching out to their families and friends for support on their issues, and they tend to not get them resolved resulting in the relationship ending.
Life is busy. There's always so much to do, so much to accomplish, and so much left undone and unaccomplished at the end of the day! While being busy and motivated can be energizing, it can also be tricky to find a balance between your ambitions and your personal life. Taking the time to nourish both aspects of your life is super important, but sacrificing one for the sake of the other can be detrimental to your overall happiness. As you're figuring out your career and your love life, consider this love advice for ambitious women.
When I moved to America at 29, me and the guy still corresponded. People kept telling me that long-distance romances didn’t work out, so I went down [to Trinidad] a few times and we saw each other and it was nice. But eventually he told me that it wasn’t going to work out because I was too far away and didn’t want to come back to Trinidad. And it was fine!
"It's really attractive when a girl takes initiative in bed; a guy won't think any less of you. It doesn't always need to be a tit for tat thing with giving and receiving. The norm of so many of my relationships has been doing 80 percent of the work and taking 80 percent of the initiative in the bedroom. I can't explain how refreshing it is when it feels like it's 50-50." Greg G.
Trust your instincts from the very first contact with a potential boyfriend. Did he get a little too drunk on your initial dates? A man who can’t get through the early stages of a relationship without using alcohol may have substance abuse issues. Is he perpetually late, always offering bogus excuses? He doesn’t value your time so don’t expect him to suddenly be punctual when you need him to be somewhere important. Do you get a sense he is hiding something when he finds reasons why you can never come to his place? Key into your visceral responses when you pick up vibes that don’t sit right with you. Don’t make the mistake so many women make, thinking that all these negative behaviors will change once he falls in love with you. They won’t. They may even get worse.
"Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more as time goes by. Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner. Keep your 'sex esteem' alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life."
And Carmelia Ray, celebrity matchmaker, online dating expert, and chief dating advisor of WooYou App, agrees that this "honeymoon stage" is an important period in your life. "It's a special time to create unforgettable memories together and a time where many couples feel as if they are falling in love," she explains. With that being said, we asked both experts to divulge the biggest pieces of new relationship advice they give to their clients so they can actually enjoy this period of getting to know each other (and spend less time stressing).
"I like a girl to be confident going into a date, even if it's the first one. The normal guy-girl interactions on initial outings usually fall somewhere between awkward and really awkward (which is understandable, especially if it's a blind date), so having a girl go the opposite route not only makes her more intriguing—it's also a total turn-on."
The period after a breakup is the perfect time for a little post-relationship debriefing with trusted friends. It's also a great time for some self-reflection about what you're looking for in a new relationship. This self-reflection often includes reading up on love and relationships to make sure you are wiser and better equipped for relationship success.
These would be those instant deal breakers of yours—he’s a smoker, a non-monogamist, a cat-lover, etc.—that instantly tell you to move on so you’re not wasting your time. “What are those three things that are not negotiable when you’re looking for a relationship?” asked relationship expert Dr. Melanie Mills. “Try not to include physical or financial attributes. Focus on character traits, personality type, and value systems.”
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Virginia, 73, described rushing into marriage as one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. "I got married to get away from home," she said. "So there was this fellow I’d been going with, and we up and got married the week I turned 18. Well, two children and 11 years later, we divorced. It wasn’t a wise decision to marry him but it was an out for me at that time. So please, tell younger people: When it comes to marriage, don’t rush into things.
The boy used to take me and my sisters to an ice cream shop in Isfahan — the only one in town. I remember everyone would stare and gawk at us because we were dressed in full abayas which was unusual at the time. This was before the Islamic Revolution, after all. Anyway, this boy, he only had eyes for me. It was the first time I had ever fallen in love, really. And I thought I knew that I would marry him one day.
So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. "If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains. "Instead, set aside a time to talk when the situation has passed."
Certain human attributes simply can’t withstand the test of time — the precision of our vision, the strength of our bones, the synchronicity of our limbs. But as we grow seemingly weaker on the outside, my grandparents have demonstrated that, internally, we often tend to grow even stronger in our convictions. My grandmother’s body may be battling the adversary of time, but her adoration for my grandfather (and berries) remains an ally. Love, it seems, can age quite well.
Resting on opposite sides of the zodiac, the initial magnetism between the Scorpio man and the Bull is intense. This relationship is often highly possessive for both parties and arguments are explosive. However, the passion boils over into the bedroom, where these opposites connect perfectly. After the initial lusty affair, this relationship has staying power if both the Scorpion and Taurus are willing to work on their issues outside of the bedroom.
The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. "But there are many places a woman should touch, like the chest, inner thighs, and face," Schaefer adds. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex.
That's right. Sex is an integral part of healthy and happy relationships, hence the stress on keeping lines of communication open in the bedroom. You know that thing you've always wanted to try, but keep to yourself? We say, let your freak flag fly. Keeping your sex life new and interesting will make you and your partner happier in and out of the bedroom.
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The worst relationship I ever had was also the most important one of my young life, in that I learned more about myself from that year-long ordeal than from any other. I was 18, and as often happens with first love, was completely blind to the fact that I was being manipulated and taken advantage of. My mother knew, of course, and while she could see the eventual train wreck at the end of that relationship, she let it happen because she knew I had to feel that hurt, face his betrayal and manipulation, and stand up for myself in the aftermath of that injury to my heart and ego. I’m sure she warned me in many small ways, but she never stood in the way of what must have been, from her perspective, an excruciating progression from infatuation to heartbreak. When I’d finally had enough, and I ended the relationship once and for all, she sat on the floor of my room as I tearfully exorcised my pain by cleaning out my closet. Again, I don’t remember what she did say to me that day, but I treasure what she did not say, something I don’t know that I would have been able to keep to myself. She sat there as I cried and helped me put clothing in bags for donation, and never, not once, did she say”I told you so.
"But sometimes people actually have pretty strong feelings about whether they will or won’t have children. And one person can say, 'I really want children.' The other one says, 'Well, I’m not sure' and they let it go. But sometimes that really means no. And I have seen heartache there as a result. So they should ask: 'Well, what can you imagine your life might be like in 10 years? Does it involve children?'
Although Taurus and the Aquarius man potentially have a great deal to teach one another, this is generally a disastrous pairing. The Water-bearer tends to be highly unpredictable and cares more about friendships than romantic entanglements, failing to give the Bull the emotional affirmations that she secretly needs. The Taurus woman is slow to adapt to change, and by the time this duo figures things out, the flighty Aquarius may be on the way out.
We moved to Berkeley together in the early 70s, when they had guerrilla theater. We started doing street theater together; it was so boring and so bad. Mel was studying for his masters and couldn’t get a job, so I became a telephone operator. It was the best job I ever had. I made a good living and made a life for both of us in Berkeley. Then Mel got an invitation to do his Doctorate at NYU, so we drove from Berkeley to New York. He became a professor; taught theater. Eventually we separated, but he was my best friend; my first love — we took care of each other. He died last year.
True to the Twin archetype of your sign, there is another side to you that people don’t often see. You would prefer to not be single. You are at your best when you are in a dynamic, yet stable relationship. You prefer a relationship that is caring and tender, and even romantic – but never boring. Your ideal partner will give you plenty of freedom to socialize, exchange ideas, and be yourself while at the same time being a reliable and tested foundation of strength for you. Your partner must be intelligent, interesting, social, and like to talk. You also need someone to be there for you unconditionally when you feel the need to withdraw and be nurtured.
How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include (or betray) the other. "For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use sex toys or letting other men look at her," Dr. Kort says. "For her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy." Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties, so talk to your partner outside of the bedroom and see if this is something one (or both of you) might be interested in.
WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.