We moved to Berkeley together in the early 70s, when they had guerrilla theater. We started doing street theater together; it was so boring and so bad. Mel was studying for his masters and couldn’t get a job, so I became a telephone operator. It was the best job I ever had. I made a good living and made a life for both of us in Berkeley. Then Mel got an invitation to do his Doctorate at NYU, so we drove from Berkeley to New York. He became a professor; taught theater. Eventually we separated, but he was my best friend; my first love — we took care of each other. He died last year.
Don’t fall in love with your man for his potential.  You want to bond with someone as they are now.  Sure, all signs point to him becoming successful and hard-working, but what if something occurs, like illness or disability, that would prevent that from happening?  Would you still love him?  Your man is not your project, so make sure you pick someone who you love just the way he is.
When I moved to America at 29, me and the guy still corresponded. People kept telling me that long-distance romances didn’t work out, so I went down [to Trinidad] a few times and we saw each other and it was nice. But eventually he told me that it wasn’t going to work out because I was too far away and didn’t want to come back to Trinidad. And it was fine!
The Bull and the Capricorn man share many common goals, although their motivation often comes from different sources. Romantic bliss is not unheard of for this pair but they have some obstacles to overcome. Emotionally, the Goat is too cold and detached for the Taurus woman. However, with the help of a psychic, this pair can move past their problems and create a satisfying life together.
Relationship advice isn't one-size-fits-all, so it helps to get a range of opinions. And while we're huge fans of credentialed sex and relationship experts, sometimes you just need some real talk from women who've been there. That's why we've decided to draw from Refinery29's library of personal stories to glean some real-world advice. These are people who've been through specific romantic challenges and have come out of them wiser — and are happy to spread their newfound wisdom.
These would be those instant deal breakers of yours—he’s a smoker, a non-monogamist, a cat-lover, etc.—that instantly tell you to move on so you’re not wasting your time. “What are those three things that are not negotiable when you’re looking for a relationship?” asked relationship expert Dr. Melanie Mills. “Try not to include physical or financial attributes. Focus on character traits, personality type, and value systems.”
This is important for you and for him.    Your body and mind are reflections of your well-being so devote time and money to your self-care.  Your man is attached to you both emotionally and physically, so it is worth maintaining both your outward appearance and your mental health by paying attention to their good working state.  Don’t let yourself go.  Eat healthfully and incorporate physical movement into your day.  Take time to practice activities that nourish your spirit and challenge your mind.

I fell in love once after that, but the guy died. He was younger than me — asthmatic. After that, I kind of lost interest [in love]. I never really got serious with anybody. Over the years, I’ve just had fun and worked hard — I took care of beautiful children. I used to party every night because my brother was a DJ. I’d attend every single Carnival — without a guy in my life. I was single, and oh, I was loving it. And still loving it even more now!
"Listening is a skill and a communication tool most people don't do very well," says Ray. When you give your partner your undivided attention, it allows them to feel both heard and appreciated. When you show curiosity about who they are and what they're up to, it not only indicates your interest in their life but makes them feel unique and special.
The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. "But there are many places a woman should touch, like the chest, inner thighs, and face," Schaefer adds. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex.

One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. "As a woman ages and the relationship goes on, [many] stop being spontaneously horny," she explains. "A lot of men and women don't know this, so they wait to be [turned on] to have sex...But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex."


"The number one thing I have learned about love is that it is a trade and a social exchange, not just a feeling. Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too. When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends. That is why it is important to pay attention to what you and your partner actually do for each other as expressions of love... not just how you feel about each other in the moment."
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
"Whether it is a professional athlete or a CEO, when I ask my clients, 'Why her?'...the feedback is almost always the same. TEARS! Seriously, big burly guys that you would never imagine being emotional. The response is often they are just grateful for her. Grateful she let him in his life. Grateful of a specific experience the two shared. Simply, a large of amount of gratitude which led to him wanting to spend eternity with his chosen one. Even without a partner, studies show that when we are grateful, The Universe gladly makes more show up in your life for which to be grateful. Next up for you...a +1!"

The optimistic Sagittarius man is a good compliment to the Taurus woman’s pessimistic nature. Although very different in many respects, this is a good match if both parties are willing to work to meet one another’s needs. The independent and free-spirited Sagittarius sometimes presents a risk for the loyal Taurus woman. Consulting a psychic helps the Bull determine whether the Archer is truly committed.


"If a girl and I end up hooking up quickly, it doesn't necessarily mean I've written her off. All she needs to do to maintain my interest is…be awesome. Be interesting and interested in me. Plan cool events. For example, 'Hey, I've got an extra ticket to this show tonight. Want to go?' Go out and do things I'd want to do, and then invite me. Chances are I'll probably join you. Be willing to embrace the things men love."
"Listening is a skill and a communication tool most people don't do very well," says Ray. When you give your partner your undivided attention, it allows them to feel both heard and appreciated. When you show curiosity about who they are and what they're up to, it not only indicates your interest in their life but makes them feel unique and special.
Avoidance is when you refuse to confront and deal with a challenge. Accommodation is when you seek to accommodate others’ wishes and desires, even at the exclusion of your own needs and preferences. Compromise is when each side offer and accepts mutual concessions, and collaboration occurs when both parties seek a win-win arrangement versus a win-at-all-costs one.
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