Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Kort says. First of all, sex addicts only represent 3-6% of the population, so it's unlikely your man is one. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr. Kort says. "So no woman can, nor should be, everything to a man."
What a stressful article! I mean, “Look sexy, get kinky, be aggressive, give him space, take care of yourself, don’t be a drama queen, don’t try so hard…” Blah blah blah!!! Be you. Be as crazy and assertive and talkative and love yourself the way you are. Don’t break your back trying to look how you think he wants you to look, or force yourself into an uncomfortable sexual encounter because you don’t want him to get bored and wonder off… Men need to be held accountable too! And if you are doing everything to make him stay, you’re only going to resent him for not putting in as much effort. And he won’t. Because he’s a dude. So just be you and find someone you don’t feel the need to CHANGE or CHANGE FOR.
True to the Twin archetype of your sign, there is another side to you that people don’t often see. You would prefer to not be single. You are at your best when you are in a dynamic, yet stable relationship. You prefer a relationship that is caring and tender, and even romantic – but never boring. Your ideal partner will give you plenty of freedom to socialize, exchange ideas, and be yourself while at the same time being a reliable and tested foundation of strength for you. Your partner must be intelligent, interesting, social, and like to talk. You also need someone to be there for you unconditionally when you feel the need to withdraw and be nurtured.
Ray says that in a new relationship it's common for couples to drop some of their usual activities and cancel on friends to see their partner. "Remember that attraction is also created by the anticipation of seeing your partner and by creating some distance," says Ray. "When you always drop everything to be with your new partner, it may set the expectation that your previous commitments are secondary to who you're dating." She says to keep yourself busy and honor your plans with friends as you adjust your schedule in moderation.
Be with someone who wants you to succeed even if that means them picking up the slack in the rest of your shared life. I know when I'm executing an event or deep in the weeds on a project, I need all the help I can get. Having a husband that sees the gaps and fills in before I have a breakdown from trying to do it all is key to my success. Being a working mom means that life doesn’t simply slow down because work is busy… all it means is that I have that many additional balls in the air and I need my partner to help me juggle them all.
Your man wants to know you appreciate him for who he is and what he brings to the relationship. If you love him, make sure he knows. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your partner what you appreciate about him and why.