I fell in love once after that, but the guy died. He was younger than me — asthmatic. After that, I kind of lost interest [in love]. I never really got serious with anybody. Over the years, I’ve just had fun and worked hard — I took care of beautiful children. I used to party every night because my brother was a DJ. I’d attend every single Carnival — without a guy in my life. I was single, and oh, I was loving it. And still loving it even more now!
"But sometimes people actually have pretty strong feelings about whether they will or won’t have children. And one person can say, 'I really want children.' The other one says, 'Well, I’m not sure' and they let it go. But sometimes that really means no. And I have seen heartache there as a result. So they should ask: 'Well, what can you imagine your life might be like in 10 years? Does it involve children?'
If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. "Next time you're masturbating, make some noise," she says. "You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex." Otherwise, saying anything that's praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.
"A friend taught me that no matter how in love you are or how long you've been together, it's important to take an exhale from your partnership. Hang out with girlfriends until late in the evening, take a weekend trip to visit family, or just spend time 'doing you' for a while. Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you'll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger."
Philosopher and psychologist Viktor Frankl said that when you know your ‘why’, you can endure any ‘how’. Know your why. Why are you in a relationship with your partner? Your answer will be the light that guides you. If you can’t answer this question clearly, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. Take it to a level deeper, ‘because I love him/her’ is not sufficient, why do you love them?
Meet people where they meet you — don't over-invest in anyone that's not investing in you. Dating is like every other relationship in your life whether it be a work relationship or friendship. You're not going to be chasing down a client that doesn't show interest, so why would you do that with a partner? Value your time, value our energy, value your heart. If you treat yourself with respect, other people will do the same.
Certain human attributes simply can’t withstand the test of time — the precision of our vision, the strength of our bones, the synchronicity of our limbs. But as we grow seemingly weaker on the outside, my grandparents have demonstrated that, internally, we often tend to grow even stronger in our convictions. My grandmother’s body may be battling the adversary of time, but her adoration for my grandfather (and berries) remains an ally. Love, it seems, can age quite well.
We’re all about empowered woman, but when you don’t let your man do even as much as change a lightbulb for you, it will make him feel inferior and not needed. Remember, his self-worth is directly connected to his ability to provide for you and protect you. Let him open doors for you, fix what needs to be fixed, pick you up late from the train station, etc. And if you make more money than him, still, let him pay for things. Being strong and independent is wonderful, but it doesn’t mean you can’t accept help or courtesies from other people.