This is a complex one but necessary to surviving in a rapid dating world, says sex and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein. “Building strength and self-confidence is key. The reality of it is, dating can be hard and feelings can be hurt. But if you know who you are and how you want to be treated then you won’t allow someone (or the dating scene) to continually hurt or discourage you.”
A lasting relationship is made up of a million little moments. Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can attest to the fact that the real bricks and mortar of living with someone and loving someone is actually about taking the rubbish out, making dinner, putting on a load of washing, a quick kiss in between dropping the kids off. Real romance doesn’t only reside in grand gestures, but rather in loving in the mundane and the minutia. So pick your towel off the floor, remember to buy milk on the way home (and sometimes throw in a bunch of flowers), and make the effort. It will make your partner feel loved on an authentic and meaningful level.
The elders say that women should make sure — before committing — that their partner’s goals for a good life together align with theirs. Unfortunately, such discussions are sometimes not explicit and detailed. They suggest serious discussions about one another’s goals and aspirations for work and career, for how expensive a lifestyle you wish to live, and particularly important — children. Nadine, 65, pointed out that women may assume their partner wants kids. "In fact, a couple may disagree substantially on this issue,'' she said. "In my job, I sometimes counsel young people and a lot of times they say: 'Oh well, we’ll just bracket that question for now.'
I once worked with a colleague who was incredibly dismissive and known for not responding to emails, phone calls or text messages. In addition to being non-responsive, the team member was rude. I worked with him for years and deeply disliked his lack of accountability. At some point, our relationship reached a tipping point, and I actively prayed either he or I would find a new job.