"Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they're known as the 'Four Horsemen of Divorce.' Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner's goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. Also, focus on using 'I' vs. 'you' language."
In a long-term relationship, an easy trap to fall into is to take your partner for granted. Remind yourself what you admire about them. Don’t push their boundaries; understand that they are an entirely separate and different individual to yourself. Give your partner the space and appreciation for what they bring to your life, and show respect by taking their wishes, values and ideas into consideration. A little respect and appreciation will go a long way.
I don’t believe that finding your partner is 'a numbers game' and I don’t think you get anywhere by dating 'like it’s your job.' You have to believe that you are enough, as you are—and look for the partner who thinks so, too. Find the partner whose eyes light up when you talk about your ambition and the things that really matter to you. Anyone who makes you feel you’re not enough or you’re too much is not your soulmate.
While airy Gemini can feel pulled mentally by a crowd, the watery Fish will feel pulled emotionally. There can be much love and understanding between a Gemini woman and a Pisces man. If both are willing to sail the winds and swim the depths, this can work. If stability markers are present, this could be a romantic pairing. If not, it could be too much to handle.
"If the guy doesn't say something and take the check off the table to pay, it's probably fair to assume that you're going Dutch. There are different reasons that a guy might not pick up the tab (some that might not have anything to do with you), but if you're into him, avoid looking too disappointed. You don't want him to think you expected it." —Josh F.
With that in mind, I spoke to three women over the age of 70 to hear about the first time they fell in love, the ways love transforms over time, and their thoughts about all things romance-related today. Their wisdom has both inspired and resonated with me — all three perspectives are vastly different, and yet rich with history, emotion and nostalgia. I learned that experience in the present may be transient, but some memories are more powerful from a distance. And when revisiting the past, love is a lens that adds both color and clarity.
Have your non-negotiables and boundaries, but dating with a strict itemized wish list—he must make this much, be this tall, drive this car, be this funny—will only hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life and limit you to men who only look good on paper, says Goldstein. “If you need a wish list it should be small and include feeling words instead of car makes and job titles,” she adds.
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Although Taurus and the Aquarius man potentially have a great deal to teach one another, this is generally a disastrous pairing. The Water-bearer tends to be highly unpredictable and cares more about friendships than romantic entanglements, failing to give the Bull the emotional affirmations that she secretly needs. The Taurus woman is slow to adapt to change, and by the time this duo figures things out, the flighty Aquarius may be on the way out.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]