Whining is generally considered a bad thing—and yeah, it can get pretty annoying if you’re on the receiving end. Done effectively, however, it can actually benefit our mental health. So what exactly makes complaining effective? When voicing a concern leads to results, which in turn lead to a better mood and self-esteem andfeeling empowered, it’s effective. In other words, complaining done right involves identifying a problem and taking positive action to address it, not just getting stuck in a loop-de-loop of complaints.
All I can say is Wow! I absolutely couldn't put this book down. I have read all of Debora's books so far and I absolutely love the characters. The stories Debora writes are so enthralling, and she keeps you on the edge of her seat, wondering what will happen next. I laughed out loud at parts, and also cried at parts of the story. What a wonderful story, and of course, no surprise to me, since I didn't expect anything less! My only wish is that I could have these marvelous people in my neighborhood - or in my family!
I have been dating a guy for 9 months, we get on great, met each other's family and friends. I have you get kids and realised we only saw each other if I had them babysat and I always went to his, he met my kids and we went away for weekend together, after I questioned him where we are going, he told me I've stole his heart and he loves swing me but can't fully commit to me and he doesn't know why, he wants to still see me as he doesn't want to loose me but says I deserve more. Is my family life his fear of commitment? Should I walk away now? Or give it longer to see if he would commit?
We all want to revel in the Romantic Love Stage of our relationships. We crave that passionate, intense energy because it feeds us and makes us feel alive. This is how we identify love. We fear that we have fallen out of love when that energy fades. Believe it or not, the fire felt during the Romantic Love Stage is the result of chemicals in your brain. Your body releases hormones and brain chemicals, endorphins that make you feel high and promote attachment to your partner.
Fact: Since it prevents us from accomplishing goals, procrastination diminishes happiness. Avoid putting off tasks and continue working towards your goals in order to give yourself a mental boost. Though conquering something challenging may stress us out while we’re doing it, it also makes us happier in the long run (hey, who doesn’t love an accomplishment?). Plus, when we set goals (and meet or surpass our hopes and expectations), it can help us feel more purpose and control and boosts our self-esteem.
Whether you are divorced, getting married, or even happily married, you just have to love how Liz looks at Marriage from every possible angle…especially from the perspective that since she'd been unlucky at it once, she was sure she never wanted to make that mistake again! Her absolute obsession with deconstructing marriage will entertain you and make you think about it long after you've finished reading it. She gives a cross-cultural examination to how people view and feel about marriage, and still, she can't conclude why some marriages work and some don't…only that she's terrified of being unhappy. The love of her life, Felipe, whom we met in Eat, Pray, Love, is unable to enter the USA and unless she marries him the miles of red tape will keep him out of the US for ever. In the mean time, they travel the world in order to stay together while working on making a life together in the US. She seems to think that if she turns herself inside out and reveals all her shortcomings, it will be best in terms of full disclosure. It doesn't matter, when someone you love so much loves you back the way you need to be loved, and that's what Liz discovers while wearing Felipe out and finally figuring out how best to be what he needs and how to provide that for him. They are a precious couple even if they don't fit the perfect rubric of what it takes to make a perfect and lasting marriage. Nobody does, nobody ever will, and in the end, this is a love story, built on the love stories of her parents and the strong women in her life. Marriage is not for the faint of heart, and this should be required pre-Cana reading.
So true, Carolyn - and so telling! As a culture, we spend hours doing research and taking classes on so many other things that have little to do with our happiness - as if the things like buying a car or planning a vacation will bring us true happiness, but we "wing it" when it comes finding what we're looking for in relationships. We limit ourselves to such a great extent because of so much of what you say here - "you only have those around you as examples of what life has to offer." And if those around you are as confused about all this as everyone else, and don't question what the media and culture has taught them, what do you really have? Great comment, Carolyn. I appreciate your adding so much to this conversation.
Kirby: Joe and I were working for McFadden Publications at the time. McFadden had comics and in one of the books we did a feature called My Date. It suddenly occurred to me that McFadden was the biggest purveyor of romance in the world and was making millions at it, and we were sitting on top of the same thing, except that there were no romance stories in comics. My Date was a prelude.
By committed, I mean someone who is faithful. Reliable. They’re there for you. The have your best interests in mind. Loyal love can, at times, not feel warm and fuzzy, but it is faithful and committed. Or compassionate love, where there’s a warmth, a feeling. There’s no question that they love you because you can feel their love. But it can be a little more come-and-go in expression.
Get enough sleep. Making a habit of sleeping at least 7 or 8 hours each night will definitely make you feel happier. You’d be surprised by how much a good night’s sleep can improve your mood – and by how much a bad night’s sleep can make you think that you hate everybody and that the world is a terrible place. Happier people make taking care of their minds and bodies a priority, and this is something you should prioritize if you want to feel happier, as well.
Find at least one or more ways each day to treat yourself. That could mean anything from reminiscing over favorite photos, to enjoying a dish of ice cream, to sitting in a park daydreaming, to watching TV or swimming or dancing. If you make a list of favorite activities and feel stuck on a particular day, pull out that list and pick one that feels good to do now. If it serves you to complete one or more tasks before your treat, that works, too. Just know that, right now, you are doing the best you know how to meet your needs. I believe that self-care, self-love and treats are good for all of us.
Building trust is another key for how to feel happy and good, as it stimulates oxytocin. Maybe there’s someone you want to trust, but you can’t bridge the divide. It’s good to know you can build trust with a long series of very small interactions that help you feel better along the way. Individuals or groups with an unfortunate history cannot always wipe the slate clean all at once. Intermediate steps build trust gradually. The stepping stones can be placed so close together that neither party risks a big betrayal. Each step need only create positive expectations about the next step rather than resolve the whole problem. Each small experience of trust stimulates the good feeling of oxytocin, which connects neurons that help trigger more.
For forty-five days, give up control instead of trying to control the world in your accustomed ways. Don’t quit your day job to beg with a rice bowl and think that will be a way to feel good. Just stop checking the weather report, buying lottery tickets, and expecting the world to work according to your rules. Choose one habit you have for feeling in control, and do without it. If you can’t give up your control ritual completely, commit to giving it up for a certain time each day. You will learn how to feel happy and safe in the world despite your inability to control it.
Here are the various types of chemicals that help you in the process of falling in love and also help trigger the feelings you have. Oxytocin is the chemical that calms a couple down, it also it bonds them together as well. This chemical promotes intimacy, it’s when you’re kissing, hugging, touching each other that this chemical is released. Also this chemical is released when you’re a new mom and you start producing milk, it helps you bond with your child. A chemical that is said is mainly for men, can also be found in women. Testosterone is a sex hormone that is produced in the testes of men. This helps the development of male sex characteristics, for example their deep voice and growing facial hair. Having high levels are good for men’s health. Dopamine being more of a pleasure chemical, it plays a very big role when one is gambling, while in the use of drugs and also when in love of course. When dopamine is released it makes couples feel energetic for each other. When with the person they love their dopamine system is now activated and that’s what triggers the certain behavior that the person they love is the only person in the world that matters.
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Walk away now. He's selfish. Whenever a man tells you he can't commit or you deserve better, BELIEVE HIM and drop him immediately. No buts. Choose yourself always. "He doesn't want to lose me". Of course he freaking doesn't, but that means NOTHING. Staying would be you letting him using you. We are the ones who lose when we stick around for crumbs. It's not about you or your family life. His issues are his and his alone and they don't matter. A man (or any person for that matter) who is worth your time accepts you and your family life as is. Anything less is not what you want.
But also, and this is something that I think about that isn’t specifically outlined in Scripture but (this part is) when a person is under the water, there is a picture of washing and cleansing. But I love to think of that water as expressing, picturing the tears of God. The One who is acquainted with our grief, carried our sorrows is washing away, not just our sin, but is moving toward our sorrow, is bearing our burdens. You can’t love someone sacrificially without, in a sense, absorbing upon yourself their grief, their sadness, their sorrow. And God, the Creator of all things, has moved toward us in that way, not only in a way that pays for our sin, that sets us free from the bondage to the devil, but also because Jesus has a Father who dearly loves his people.
It can also make you feel like you have a dope roommate. You’ll have great conversations, laugh at corny inside jokes, and be mad if they decide to watch an episode of your favorite TV series without you. And even with all that friendship, you’ll start to wonder if you’re meant to stay together in this loving, but romantically depleted relationship for the rest of your life.
Never before and never again, did a single genre of the comic book — an original American commercial concept — explode in such an orgy of financial opportunism. . . . Some historians have theorized that the demise of the pulp magazines had something to do with the frenzy for love . . . . No, the answer — if there is a rational answer — is that it was just time for love. Teenage American girls — for it was they that read the majority of romance comics — were ready for romance. No young miss could possibly avoid spotting love on the racks when it was that freely available. And more love begat even more love.
Feel more compassion. Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.” You may think that feeling compassion for others has nothing to do with your own level of happiness, but in fact, being able to feel compassion for a friend or stranger in a difficult situation can make you a more whole, self-aware, and grateful person. If you’re so busy obsessing over your own struggles and never look around to see how other people are feeling, you’re bound to be less happy than a truly compassionate person.
Never having written a review before, I felt I needed to say something about this book and this series. This book, the meeting, dating and romance and love of Nell and Daniel was entertaining, funny, understandably nerve-wracking, and oh so real. I love these people. As a female computer scientist, going to school in the 70's, it did not surprise me that Daniel would not take Nell's coding skills seriously. Nor was I surprised by how this hacker-jock would be tied in knots by Nell the women. But, the getting from meeting to marrying was as real (and happy and sad) as any I have known. The book was a joy. The series is so much more.
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Ditto if someone says, “I want to make a baby with you,” with no other evidence of commitment like, say, marriage. An even worse indicator of commitment is if someone says to you, “I’d like you to have my baby.” Context matters a lot here. It may sound silly, but this is, in fact, a relatively common behavior in some teenage groups, in which males say some version of this to females they are interested in. Some may be flattered and impressed, but even in these examples, it would be a lot more impressive if someone said, “I want to raise a child with you.” That statement contains a greater amount of information, especially if it’s accurate, but that’s the essence of commitment, which is about wanting and planning a future.
Many of us have grown up to believe that happiness is an outside force we can’t control. We go about our lives waiting for happiness to happen to us! We believe if we perhaps find the right partner, wear the right kind of clothes, have the dream job, or go on vacation, we will achieve the happiness we long for. However, the reality is that happiness is a choice, a decision you can make to take control of your well being, and enjoy life to the fullest. They say money can’t buy you happiness and that is absolutely true! Here is a short list of 10 free things you can do to turn that frown upside down and start embracing happiness in your life!
To be in a state of Happi-ness there has to be a complete absence of ego. Ego being a state of mind (identity) - acquired from the past - which continuously seeks to connect with an uncertain future ( and remains forever fearful of the outcome). So, when the chaotic mind is free of incessant and noisy thoughts (the ego) and becomes quiet and aware(conscious) of a calm... then, and ONLY then does Happi-ness prevail.
Exercise regularly. Regular exercise has been proven to make people feel happier and even just 30 minutes of exercise a day can have a significant impact on how happy you feel. You may not want to hit up the gym or go for a quick run when you’re feeling down in the dumps, but that’s precisely what will get you up. If exercising alone is too boring for you, then take a group yoga, dance, or barre class or join a team sport.
4 For more on the global distribution and consumption of category romances in different linguistic and cultural contexts, see Eva Hemmungs Wirtén’s “They Seek it Here, They Seek it There, They Seek it Everywhere: Looking for the ‘Global’ Book,” Peter Darbyshire, “Romancing the World: Harlequin Romances, the Capitalist Dream, and the Conquest of Europe and Asia,” George Paizis’ “Category Romance in the Era of Globalization: The Story of Harlequin” and An Goris’ “Romance the World Over.”
I think it means that someone is there for you no matter what.it should not matter what time of day it is or what the issue is if you need them they should be there.also they are the person that no matter what comes up you invite them to go with you they are your other half.you don't have to wonder who they are with you should be able to tell everyone that he is my guy. No waiting t I see who you will spend your free time with it is already understood.
32These latter two interpretations of the preview scene require extensive familiarity with creative dynamics and codes that are specific to the category romance format and are hence only developed by readers initiated in the popular romance genre – in other words, the category romance’s target audience. For these readers, the preview scene functions not only as a code signifying the novel’s romance generic identity (as it does to the public) but also as a codification of the novel’s singularity. As with the clinch and the design template, these different interpretations of the category romance’s materiality are also fundamentally tied to the public’s and the reader’s respective degrees of knowledge of and experience with the particular codes of the popular romance genre. The romance reader is able to develop a more complex and layered interpretation of the category romance’s materiality than the public because her extensive knowledge of the genre’s conventions and codes enables her to see differentiation where the public only sees similarity.
2While these impressive numbers indisputably establish the widespread popularity of romance, the genre has been studied very sparsely. Even though the scholarly examination of popular culture has become a respectable and well-established academic pursuit, few scholars turn their critical gaze towards this most popular (and feminine) of genres. Studies of the popular romance novel are consequently few and far between, and within this relatively small body of work attention to the material aspects of the genre has been very limited.1 This despite the fact that the material conditions of popular novels are of major importance since they function as sites of intense debate concerning the status, meaning, identity and cultural placing of the books.
Committed love offers rewards to couples who stay together. Some couples feel a commited love based on attraction. In this type of relationship your commitment comes from your desire to be with the other person or the romantic love that you feel, according to the article "Commitment in Healthy Relationships" on the North Carolina State University website. The rewards for true loves who commit to each other include regular support, affection and friendship.
Look, I don’t want to risk romanticizing the oh-so-simple life of the picturesque rural peasant here. Let me make it clear that I had no desire to trade lives with any of the women that I met in that Hmong village in Vietnam. For the dental implications alone, I do not want their lives. It would be farcical and insulting, besides, for me to try adopting their worldview. In fact, the inexorable march of industrial progress suggests that the Hmong will be more likely to start adopting my worldview in the years to come.
Donating your time can have the same effect. In a recent review of 40 studies done over the last 20 years, researchers found that volunteering was one of the most successful ways to boost psychological health. Volunteering was found to be linked with a reduced risk of depression, a higher amount of overall satisfaction, and even a reduced risk of death from of a physical illness as a consequence of mental distress.