"If you always think about the future and the past, you don't spend time in the moment very much," Müller said. "I have may clients who are either living totally in the past — like all the things they've done that were wrong, that didn't go well ... Or in the future — all the things that could go wrong, all the things that could happen to them, and how they could lose the things they love."
How does this apply to dating and mating? Anything that constrains your options, or your partner’s, limits the information contained in the choices you make. That means that some people may routinely misinterpret the behavior of their partners and think that something may signal commitment when it does not. That also means that some couples that have been together a while, with an unclear future, and that also have the constraints that come from living together, may have difficulty reading clearly in each other what they want for the future.
Love, as it turns out, is a feeling (no surprises there). We get tingly and joyful. We get excited. We love. We hug and kiss and wrap our bodies around each other because it somehow expresses this feeling. “I want to smoosh my body onto your body” is probably the best way I’ve heard this described, in one of the best explorations of this topic I’ve ever read.
Think more positively. The easiest way to become happier is to make an effort to be a more optimistic person. You may think that some people are more negative than others, but this is lazy thinking that can keep you from being happier than you are today. Your personal situation may not be in your control, but you can always control your perspective, and making the effort to look at the bright side of any situation instead of focusing on all of the negative aspects you see will make you be a happier person.
Catnaps, power naps, a full night’s sleep… no matter the method, a quality snooze session is vital for overall well-being and happiness. In fact, research shows that not sleeping enough (four hours per night) may lead to lower levels of optimism. And other studies show skimping on sleep can damage our on-the-job performance and academic performance. The cost of poor sleep: workplace productivity loss and associated costs. Rosekind MR, Gregory KB, Mallis MM. Journal of occupational and environmental medicine / American College of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 2010, Apr.;52(1):1536-5948. Sleep and academic performance in undergraduates: a multi-measure, multi-predictor approach. Gomes AA, Tavares J, de Azevedo MH. Chronobiology international, 2012, Mar.;28(9):1525-6073. Your best bet: Load up on your vitamin Zzz’s for a healthier, happier life.
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