42Indeed, the core interpretative mechanism uncovered in the material analyses in this paper – the notion that generically initiated readers interpret conventionality differently from readers who are not familiar with the genre’s codes and conventions – has the potential to shed new light on the broader discussion of the role of conventionality in the popular romance genre specifically and other kinds of genre fiction more generally. It stands to reason that the dynamics uncovered in the category romance’s materiality also apply to the text this materiality encloses and represents. Indeed, if we consider this materiality to be a physical manifestation and performative representation of the identity and characteristic traits of the text (as I have implicitly done throughout this discussion), the implications for the role of conventionality in the category romance narrative are potentially far-reaching and call for a renewed examination of the poetic functioning of both romance and other kinds of popular fiction.
By committed, I mean someone who is faithful. Reliable. They’re there for you. The have your best interests in mind. Loyal love can, at times, not feel warm and fuzzy, but it is faithful and committed. Or compassionate love, where there’s a warmth, a feeling. There’s no question that they love you because you can feel their love. But it can be a little more come-and-go in expression.
The plan: No matter how bad things may seem, find someone who’s worse off than you and help them. Do this for at least 10 minutes a month. Maybe you’ll provide them food, have a conversation or help them solve a problem. Whether it’s large or small, offer something to others. Remember: the secret to living is giving. It’s truly the secret for how to feel happy.
The issue of gender is linked to violence in Wertham’s study, since women are generally victims in comic books. Wertham believed the blending of sensuality with cruelty was a particularly disturbing aspect of comic book ideology that had a great deal of resonance with the disdain for the opposite sex that young male readers often had. In many comic books, women were portrayed as objects to be abused or to be used as decoys in crime settings. Women who did not fall into the role of victim were generally cast as villains, often with masculine or witchlike powers. These plots suggested that men had to present a united front against such women. Wertham commented, “In these stories there are practically no decent, attractive, successful women” (191). Wertham also objected to the genre known as romance or love comics. Such comics moved from the realm of physical violence against women to psychological violence in which the main female character is often humiliated or shown to be inadequate in some way.
We Americans often say that marriage is “hard work.” I’m not sure the Hmong would understand this notion. Life is hard work, of course, and work is very hard work—I’m quite certain they would agree with those statements—but how does marriage become hard work? Here’s how: Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of your life’s expectations for happiness into the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work. A recent survey of young American women found that what women are seeking these days in a husband—more than anything else—is a man who will “inspire” them, which is, by any measure, a tall order. As a point of comparison, young women of the same age, surveyed back in the 1920s, were more likely to choose a partner based on qualities such as “decency,” or “honesty,” or his ability to provide for a family. But that’s not enough anymore. Now we want to be inspired by our spouses! Daily! Step to it, honey!
The rationale: No matter how much you feed your mind, it’s difficult to make an actual change in your life if your body stays the same. Your mind and body are one unit. What is happening to one influences the other. Whether you feel uncertain or fantastic, your physiology changes. When you are feeling physically strong and powerful, your mind follows suit. Changing how your body works can change your mind and your general worldview.
You may think it’s impossible to clean out closets or renegotiate relationships in ten-minute chunks. But if you wait for grand solutions, you will languish for quite a long time. Instead, go to that closet, pull out one chunk of mess, and sort it out for ten minutes. Go to that yucky relationship riddled with disappointment and plant goodwill for ten minutes. You might not feel happier right away, but don’t let a day go by without tackling another chunk. Keep it up for forty-five days and you will be comfortable tackling the annoyances that stand in the way of making your life feel better.
That said, we have to be careful, too, not to assume that all arranged marriages across history, or all pragmatic marriages, or all marriages that begin with an act of kidnapping, necessarily resulted in years of contentment. The Websters were lucky, to an extent. (Though they also put a good deal of work into their marriage, one suspects.) But what Mr. Webster and the Hmong people perhaps have in common is a notion that the emotional place where a marriage begins is not nearly as important as the emotional place where a marriage finds itself toward the end, after many years of partnership. Moreover, they would likely agree that there is not one special person waiting for you somewhere in this world who will make your life magically complete, but that there are any number of people (right in your own community, probably) with whom you could seal a respectful bond. Then you could live and work alongside that person for years, with the hope that tenderness and affection would be the gradual outcome of your union.
In the same way, there are things that make you feel happy but may lead to a state of unhappiness. You feel happy in the moment but you mistakenly think this is all there is to happiness. Happiness, like health, needs to be understood in context. Just as you need to take into consideration a person’s age to judge their health, the future needs to be taken into account in order to determine happiness.
Because love isn't enough. Let me clarify, love, in the way most of us define it, isn't enough. Love isn't what makes you decide to not act out your desires when someone attractive starts showing you attention (and you haven't had sex in months). Love is not what makes you apologize and give your partner a hug after an argument (even though inside you know you're 100% right). Love is not what makes you weather the storm when disaster strikes (which it will). Love is not what makes you decide to treat each other with kindness, respect and empathy during a breakup or divorce (you'd be surprised how quickly love can feel like hate at that time). No, it's not love. It's commitment. It's the responsibility to keeping your commitment. Not just to the other person, but to yourself.
With yourself! Really, pack a little basket with some yummy strawberries, perhaps some chocolate, head over to the nearest park and take yourself on a picnic. While sitting there, embrace the purity of the moment. Enjoy how the wind plays with your hair, and watch how dogs walk their owners. Take in all that is around you and feel grateful for the opportunity of being alive and having all your senses intact. Make a conscientious effort to choose happiness for your life at that very moment, own your feelings and emotions. Get high on life!
Despite Burton's erotic conquests, his AIM Sniffer is still buggy. He once IM'd the wrong person in a café. A woman opened her laptop at the same time as a man, and Burton mistakenly wrote a flirty message to the guy. "He got really angry and threatened to call the cops, until I explained to him what I was doing," Burton recalls. "Then he got into it and started IMing me about all the cute girls in the café he wanted to meet."
It is a mistake to think that love comics are read only by adolescent and older children. They are read by very young children as well. An eight-year-old girl living in a very comfortable environment on Long Island said, “I have lots of friends and we buy about one comic book a week and then we exchange. I can read about ten a day. I like to read the comic books about love because when I go to sleep at night I love to dream about love.”
Believe me, modern Western marriage has much to recommend it over traditional Hmong marriage (starting with its kidnapping-free spirit), and I will say it again: I would not trade lives with those women. They will never know my range of freedom; they will never have my education; they will never have my health and prosperity; they will never be allowed to explore so many aspects of their own natures. But there is one critical gift that a traditional Hmong bride almost always receives on her wedding day which all too often eludes the modern Western bride, and that is the gift of certainty. When you have only one path set before you, you can generally feel confident that it was the correct path to have taken. And a bride whose expectations for happiness are kept necessarily low to begin with is more protected, perhaps, from the risk of devastating disappointments down the road.
Robert Johnson, a Jungian writer, calls this “stirring the oatmeal” love, and describes it as: “…a willingness to share ordinary human life, to find meaning in the simple, unromantic tasks: earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the garbage, feeding the baby in the middle of the night. To ‘stir the oatmeal’ means to find the relatedness, the value, even the beauty in simple ordinary things, not to eternally demand a cosmic drama, an entertainment or an extraordinary intensity in everything. Like the rice hulling of the Zen monks, the spinning wheel of Gandhi, the tent making of Saint Paul, it represents the discovery of the sacred in the midst of the humble and ordinary.”
You have built expectations about social rivalry from your past experience. The frustrations and disappointments of your past built circuits that make it easy for you to feel bad about being in the one-down position and bad about being in the one-up position. You could spend your whole life longing for the position you’re not in. Or you could build up the circuits that find the good in what you have and help you learn how to feel good out of habit:
At first, Fran wants to go to the police, but Wayde convinces her to keep quiet and the rewards will be theirs to reap. She agrees, but is shaken when the agency auditor finds severe and purposeful errors on their tax returns. Wayde tries to smooth things over, but Fran insists they give the scheme up. Wayde promises they only need to do a few more jobs.
Dr. Berney is a Licensed Psychologist with over 10 years of clinical experience and specializes in pediatric psychology, neuropsychology, and forensic psychology. Dr. Berney provides a wide array of mental health services to his clients, including individual therapy, family therapy and parent training, psychological and neuropsychological assessment, forensic evaluations, and group therapy. In addition to his clinical services, Dr. Berney has conducts workshops and seminars to professional and community groups across the nation. He writes a weekly column in The Ledger entitled The Mental Breakdown and is co-author of several works, including the Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child (available on Amazon Kindle), The Elimination Diet Manual (available on Amazon Kindle), and the Pediatric Behavior Rating Scale. Dr. Berney is also the co-host of two weekly podcasts, The Mental Breakdown and The Psychreg Podcast, both of which can be found on iTunes.
3rd Anniversary Free gift code Code item name : 3rdAnniversary how... to redeem code Click at Character avatar at top left > Click "Redeem Code" > Put the code > Click "redeem" > Reward will send by mail! *Note : code will expire at 30 April 2019 23.59 gmt+8. pls use before! *code can use 1 time/character only 【Reward】Durian Pizza*5, Martial Orb*20, Hero Soul(Monkey King)*20, Onmyouji Costume Pack（7days*2, Emperor Rune Bag*1 See More
Well a pheromone are chemicals that is in sweat or a bodily fluid that attracts the other gender in a way. They are natural chemicals substances that trigger a specific mating response from the opposite sex. All pheromones are specific to your species, a cat can only respond to another’s cats pheromone, so obviously only humans can respond to each others pheromone. Pheromones don’t have a specific odor, an organ that sends messages to the brain is what’s sensing all these chemicals. Many mammals like dogs and cat deposit their chemicals at “their territory”. When these chemicals vaporize it’s like a signal to the other members in that species that its occupied. Not only do pheromones help you with falling in love, but their are various types of chemicals that help you fall in love.
Felipe and I had arrived in this particular village after an overnight journey from Hanoi on a loud, dirty, Soviet-era train. I can’t rightly remember now why we went to this specific town, but I think some young Danish backpackers had recommended it to us. In any case, after the loud, dirty train journey, there had been a long, loud, dirty bus ride. The bus had finally dropped us off in a staggeringly beautiful place that teetered on the border with China—remote and verdant and wild. We found a hotel and when I stepped out alone to explore the town, to try to shake the stiffness of travel out of my legs, the little girl approached me.
"If you always think about the future and the past, you don't spend time in the moment very much," Müller said. "I have may clients who are either living totally in the past — like all the things they've done that were wrong, that didn't go well ... Or in the future — all the things that could go wrong, all the things that could happen to them, and how they could lose the things they love."
16The category romance’s front cover is visually dominated by an image that takes up a focal point in the cover composition (see figure 2). In the majority of cases this is an image of a (scantily clad) man and woman locked in a passionate embrace.9 This image, known in the romance jargon as the “clinch”, graces the front cover of an endless series of category romance novels in always changing but essentially similar variations. It appears to be a very apt visual representation of what the romance genre is all about. Depicting a man and a woman in an intimate and often explicitly passionate clinching embrace (hence the name), the image is made up of visual renderings of the nuclear elements of the conventional romance narrative : the hero, the heroine and their romantic (sexualized) interactions with each other. In a way it also offers a visual representation of what is arguably the core fantasy offered by the genre, namely that of an overwhelming and passionate romantic love focused absolutely on one other.
So for example a person with a lot of testosterone would look for a person with high estrogen levels, they would just bond better. Just as much as chemistry is involved, psychology is just as involved in it as well. Everyone has that ideal person that they constantly dream about that they’d wish to be with. Dreaming about what kind of hair they have all the way down to their style, don’t worry this is perfectly normal, it’s common for every people has that perfect person. Sometimes people are overly obsessed with their perfect person, when meeting someone with potential to be with, they apply some of their characteristics to that person and now dont see flaws, this is how one starts to become romantically in love. You are merely in love with the thought of the person, not really in love though. Unknowingly its been proven that within three minutes of meeting a potential partner they already judged them enough to know if they’re the right person for them. When attracting someone, everyone has these chemicals that help trigger sexual interest and excitement of the opposite sex. So if they’re not attracted by their smile, or their eyes, what is it then? Their called pheromones.
When it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle, eating well is clutch—especially since the nutrients you consume improve your mental health as much as your physical well-being. Case in point: Research finds that happiness and mental well-being are highest among people who eat a good amount of fruit and vegetables per day (seven portions, in this case). Check out this long list of mood-boosting nutrients here, and fill up your plate with the good stuff.