It’s natural to trust your current likes and dislikes when you think that will make you feel happy. But now you know that they’re based on accidents of experience rather than complete information. Your accidental circuits cause the threatened feeling you get when you depart from the road you know. If you avoid the threatened feeling by sticking to the old road, you miss out on a universe of potential happiness. You can learn to enjoy the challenge of embarking on a new road to feel good.

    The dialogue system is a little basic though, lacking even a way to view previous messages (so you're screwed if you skip over some dialogue). Also it lacks transitions which makes scene switches feel grating (like from class to cafeteria, and back). I guess it's excusable since this is made out of Unity - maybe I'm just too used to the comfort of RenPy based novels.
Commitment, on the other hand, is a decision. Based on some combination of feelings and logic, we make a decision about our future plans. We are used to doing this, and we recognize that it’s possible to make both good and bad decisions. Earlier today, for instance, I decided to put honey mustard and swiss cheese onto a panini with arugula. That was a great call. Last night, I decided to stay awake till 2am. Probably not the best. Last month, I decided to act on feelings of love. A year ago, I decided to be single. Some decisions affect your life more than others.

The Websters’ marriage, therefore, clearly did not launch from a place of passionate, personal, and fevered love—no more than the Hmong grandmother’s marriage had. We might therefore assume, then, that such a union is “a loveless marriage.” But we have to be careful about drawing such assumptions. I know better, at least when it comes to the case of the Websters.


“…early-stage romantic love is a developed form of a mammalian drive to pursue preferred mates. (Previous research has) concluded that it was a goal-oriented motivational state (rather than an emotion) that uses subcortical mammalian reward/survival systems, helping to explain why early-stage romantic love affects behavior so profoundly.” (Fisher et al, 2010, p.51).
Sometimes a change of location is enough to change your mood. If I wake in the morning and remember all that I didn’t complete the day before, I usually have the wisdom to get out of bed right away. When I lie there, I end up feeling guilty or ashamed or frustrated that I’m not doing or having what I want to do or have. Who would think that feeling stuck could be softened merely by leaving the bed or the desk or the kitchen. Even five or fifteen minutes away from that mentally stifling place can turn discouragement or worry into acceptance, and lead you into a mental or physical detour that can give a more satisfying slant on what felt so heavy minutes before.
Spend more time with your loved ones. Spending more time with the people you love – and the people who make you happy – is guaranteed to make you feel happier. If you’re feeling just a little bit down in the dumps, call up a good friend or family member instead of wallowing, and plan something fun to do later. You may feel like your mopey mood will drag people down, but instead, being with your close friends will lift you up and make you feel happier.
One of the very first signs of commitment in a relationship is when two people spend lots of time together. Outside of normal working hours and with all the things you could be doing in a day, there usually isn’t much time left over to spare. And since time is one of the few commodities that none of us can get back, the fact that you and your significant other choose to make time for each other on a regular basis is a good sign that you’re both committed.
Keep a folder of quotes from 14,000 Things to Be Happy About or affirmations, happy memories or travel photos where you can easily access it when you notice you need a lift. You can even combine (4) a treat, (5) a change of location and (6) a folder and promise yourself that you will take a positive action when you notice that your peaceful place is slipping away. You may still be less than satisfied in your relationship, with your child, parent, or friend, or with your check book or any other part of your life. It may seem difficult to imagine yourself in a state of happiness when you observe your life. Well, if you can do even one thing to feel more peaceful, your thoughts are likely to follow. How about an “afformation” (a question) — “What makes it so natural to focus on what is working?” From there, you’re on the trail that leads to happiness. If you detour, you can always get back on the main road. Happy trails to you!

10In other words, Genette suggests that the book’s materiality has two main functions : it is a zone in which the book’s producers and consumers negotiate the identity, meaning and interpretation of the text – a process that mainly consists of the producers’ attempts to direct the consumers’ reception of the text – and it serves to locate and reach the text’s primary target audience. These functions are the paratext’s main raison d’être ; indeed, as Genette remarks at the end of his study, functionality is “[t]he most essential of the paratext’s properties” :
Believe me, modern Western marriage has much to recommend it over traditional Hmong marriage (starting with its kidnapping-free spirit), and I will say it again: I would not trade lives with those women. They will never know my range of freedom; they will never have my education; they will never have my health and prosperity; they will never be allowed to explore so many aspects of their own natures. But there is one critical gift that a traditional Hmong bride almost always receives on her wedding day which all too often eludes the modern Western bride, and that is the gift of certainty. When you have only one path set before you, you can generally feel confident that it was the correct path to have taken. And a bride whose expectations for happiness are kept necessarily low to begin with is more protected, perhaps, from the risk of devastating disappointments down the road.

To be faithful and committed to my wife, I had to eliminate the temptations, like too much perusing on Facebook or letting my mind wander too much in social settings. We’re all vulnerable to letting our minds and eyes wander. Things like alcohol, emotionally charged occasions and tiredness can all contribute to putting us in a position where we’re weak.
27This brings me to what I call the preview scene, the third and final example of the double semiotic codification of the category romance’s materiality. The preview scene is a scene (or more often part of a scene) printed on the first page of the category romance novel. It is a brief piece of text (usually about five to ten lines) that is placed before the title page, colophon, foreword or any other kind of introductory page. Following immediately on the book’s front cover, the preview scene is usually the first page of the book the reader encounters. It consists of a partial scene that is extracted from the main narrative and that functions somewhat like a trailer for a film. Although the scene is presented without any explicit framing, its strategic placement at the beginning of the book sets up a metonymic interpretation of the scene as representative of the narrative from which it is extracted. The scene then functions to provide a first, very brief but supposedly representative taste of the narrative that follows a few pages later in the same volume.
Commitment is what holds a couple together through the ups and downs of life, but it does not necessarily signify love. Love is what makes a person want to keep their commitment no matter what happens, and this may fade in and out during the span of a relationship. Commitment and love combined make a great relationship, but each can form the basis of a working relationship on its own.
One of the biggest attractions of dating is falling in love, and many people have sought long and hard to find a partner they can love forever. Life has a way of changing how people feel and perceive the world, and love is not immune to this phenomenon. Many couples are shocked to discover that their love may fade over time, but they still feel committed to their partner. That is because love and commitment are very different from each other.
Delectably sweet, Melt sees Samantha moving to D.C. with her daughter, Lennon, after getting out of a long relationship. The last thing she needs is to get into another relationship, but when she runs into Jake Brady, who owns booming ice cream truck business that mixes alcohol with ice cream, she finds her walls melting. While they initially get off to a rocky start, Jake is determined to show her and her daughter that he’s in it for the long haul.
We are lucky to live in a time when our brain is increasingly well understood. You can learn how to feel good by turning on your happy chemicals in new ways. No one can do this for you and you cannot do it for someone else. This chapter outlines specific suggestions for new roads to dopamine happiness, endorphin happiness, oxytocin happiness, and serotonin happiness.
22One of the most visually striking and remarkable characteristics of the category romance’s material packaging is the dominance of a standard design template that all novels published in the same line share. While each line or imprint has its own characteristic template, most of these templates also have certain elements in common (e.g. the spatial placing of certain elements). The line-imposed design template determines the look of nearly every aspect of the category romance’s materiality and is as such quite an invasive material and visual presence. It is perhaps most noticeable on the front cover, where its dominant color scheme, prominent imprint logo and overall composition create an extreme sense of similarity between individual category romance novels published in the same line (see figures 2 and 3). As we can see in these examples, the placing and (stylistic) execution of almost every element of the cover composition (from the title to the name of the publisher) is determined by the line’s design template.
Donating your time can have the same effect. In a recent review of 40 studies done over the last 20 years, researchers found that volunteering was one of the most successful ways to boost psychological health. Volunteering was found to be linked with a reduced risk of depression, a higher amount of overall satisfaction, and even a reduced risk of death from of a physical illness as a consequence of mental distress.

In her waning years, Mrs. Webster was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. For almost a decade, this once-powerful woman wasted away in a manner that was agonizing to watch for everyone in the community. Her husband—that pragmatic old Yankee farmer—took care of his wife at home the entire time she was dying. He bathed her, fed her, gave up freedoms in order to keep watch over her, and learned to endure the dreadful consequences of her decay. He tended to this woman long after she knew who he was anymore—even long after she knew who she herself was anymore. Every Sunday, Mr. Webster dressed his wife in nice clothing, put her in a wheelchair, and brought her to services at the same church where they had been married almost sixty years earlier. He did this because Lillian had always loved that church, and he knew she would’ve appreciated the gesture if only she had been conscious of it. Arthur would sit there in the pew beside his wife, Sunday after Sunday, holding her hand while she slowly ebbed away from him into oblivion.
When I arrive at the Condomania offices to meet Filkins, he's finishing up some business on the phone. I wander around his workspace while he talks, peering with mild trepidation into giant candy jars full of tricolor condoms and shiny plastic packets of lube. In one room, I discover a "condomenorah." Condoms of various hues and sizes are attached to nine PVC pipes arranged to resemble Hanukkah lights. Filkins joins me and grins as his colleague flips a switch, sending air through the pipes and allowing me to inspect the wares in their fully operational state.
Afraid of failure? Ego... Curious and hoping to understand this. I want to be happy. Even when facing uncertainly because of health reasons that i can't fix. I have always been afraid I may fail. Have managed to survive and get by. Now im unsure how to let go of the past. I'm 52 and believe the last time i was actually happy was when my 3 yr old grand daughter was born. Im afraid of leaving my wife and family with nothing now. Not even funal expenses if or when it comes to it. How do you let go of the ego?? I'm not sure I have one. But I was once able to figure things out. And overcome any situation we were facing. Now, have this feling of helplessness. But want to at least have a few quality yrs happy helping those around me have peace and sone hapiness in their lives. Help if you feel you can, lead me in the right direction.
Focus on yourself and your own life. Forget men for a moment to figure yourself out. He's not the only man in the world and if things are meant to be, they will be in their own time. Take this time to look at your patterns, why you make the decisions you make, and to process past hurts that may still be there. Nothing will be gained by making fear-based decisions. If you can access Jane's help or that of a therapist, do that! Finding a hand that walks along with you in the process is extremely helpful.
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When I arrive at the Condomania offices to meet Filkins, he's finishing up some business on the phone. I wander around his workspace while he talks, peering with mild trepidation into giant candy jars full of tricolor condoms and shiny plastic packets of lube. In one room, I discover a "condomenorah." Condoms of various hues and sizes are attached to nine PVC pipes arranged to resemble Hanukkah lights. Filkins joins me and grins as his colleague flips a switch, sending air through the pipes and allowing me to inspect the wares in their fully operational state.
Exercise has such a profound effect on our happiness and well-being that it’s actually been proven to be an effective strategy for overcoming depression. In a study cited in Shawn Achor’s book, The Happiness Advantage 1, three groups of patients treated their depression with either medication, exercise, or a combination of the two. The results of this study really surprised me. Although all three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels to begin with, the follow up assessments proved to be radically different:
To be faithful and committed to my wife, I had to eliminate the temptations, like too much perusing on Facebook or letting my mind wander too much in social settings. We’re all vulnerable to letting our minds and eyes wander. Things like alcohol, emotionally charged occasions and tiredness can all contribute to putting us in a position where we’re weak.
The cofounder of an Internet startup, Burton spends his days coding in Wi-Fi-enabled cafés and using his AIM Sniffer to keep an eye on all the data traveling over the cafés' networks. Between marathon Java-thrashing sessions, he often finds he wants to introduce himself to "a cute girl with a laptop" but is too shy to make an approach. That's where the Sniffer comes in handy. If a hottie fires up her AOL Instant Messenger client, Burton sees her login name and can send her an IM. "I've gotten several first dates that way," he says. "Women think it's cute when I can make a message pop on their machine as if by magic. Now that so many women are online, it's our chance as geeks to start getting more dates."

The reason why, however, is still a mystery to scientists. Chances are, it's a combination of factors: One study in 2013 suggested that because older people are more experienced, they're therefore better at dealing with negative emotions like anger and anxiety. Another more recent study suggested the cause could be that older people are more trusting, which comes with a number of healthy psychological benefits that lead to happiness.
Join the Human Defense Department's last ditch effort to save the world: by teaching the brightest students in the nation how to hack and scramble the brains of the enemy. Follow the journey of Mina Lovelace as she seeks to prove herself worthy of following in her mother's footsteps. And also tries not to embarrass herself in front of her childhood crush in the process!
I had the Young Romance idea coming out of the service. I saw all these adults reading comic books and said, “Jeez, they’re all reading Disney and Donald Duck.” I got together a few pages of True Romance Confession and I thought the girls, the housewives that were reading comics, the housekeepers, the housemaids, everybody who was reading comics would really like to read some adult comics. I showed it to Jack and he loved it.

After all the frogs i have to kiss, I finally met this guy who's great for me in more ways than anyone i have ever met. I am once divorced and once widowed..... he is once divorced. We are both exclusive, dedicated, open communication .... My only thorn on my side is that I was born, raised, and lived my adult life with some traditional values and views..... like engagement and marriage to seal a committed relationship. He says he doesnt want to go that road anymore after his divorce. I just feel, then, that I will forever be his "girlfriend" which feels too casual for me ... where his family members have legal rights to him and I have none.....


People seem to have a pretty good understanding of what love feels like, and we do a good job respecting love as an important feeling. But our culture sends a pretty contradictory message about what commitment is. We say marriage requires love and commitment, and yet somehow “love is all you need” prevails as a logical sentiment. Our collective divorce rate speaks for our confusion.
This book made me look at marriage and commitment in a whole new light. So interesting to learn how less Westernized cultures view the dynamic of marriage and the role it plays in their personal lives and in the community - all while following her personal journey and the thoughts she wrestles with. There are points of merit and value to be taken to heart from these societies, which I loved.
23However, the impact of the line template extends far beyond the front cover. The back cover is designed in a very similar fashion, which makes for books that look altogether very similar (see figure 4). Indeed, as we can see in these examples, it is hardly possible to visually distinguish these individual books from each other. The imposing visual similarity seems to effectively stifle any claim to a more singularized interpretation that the book’s back cover traditionally develops. The same compositional principle also applies to the materiality inside the book, which, much like its outside cover, is designed on the basis of the line template. Category romances published in the same line consequently share the same font, font size, composition of the title page, foreword, etc. In other words, they all look quite similar.
13Genette identifies a crucial difference between the reception and interpretation of the (narrative) text and the (material) paratext of a book. Whereas the former is targeted at a very specific (and ideal) kind of reader, who has the background knowledge necessary to understand and unlock the text, the latter is directed at a far more substantive and heterogeneous group of consumers without a clear-cut profile.
The romance genre was gutted. Nothing that resembled anything a real teenager might experience was allowed anymore. Even though the lovers in the stories looked like full-grown adults, most of these characters seemed to have no clue whatsoever on how to deal with an actual relationship. No comics that tried to show real problems and possible solutions to them were allowed under the Code, and although the genre stumbled along until the mid-1970s, it eventually withered and died.

In words, express your love and tell your boyfriend or wife that you care. Most importantly, show that you care. Actions will always speak louder than words, but that doesn’t mean words and thoughts don’t matter. Those are what contribute to your actions. So go ahead — get your boyfriend tickets to the basketball game. Get your wife flowers. Tell your partner you love them. Let them know they’re the most important person in your life.
Because he's had such a hard time finding someone, Filkins spins out endless scenarios for dating hyper-personalization. "I would design the initial set of questions that people answer to create their FOAF file," he says. "Then there would be a system available to build new ones. If, for example, transsexuals wanted to use the protocol, they could come up with their own particular set of questions to ask."
When I was growing up in my small town in Connecticut, my favorite neighbors were a white-haired husband and wife named Arthur and Lillian Webster. The Websters were local dairy farmers who lived by an inviolable set of classic Yankee values. They were modest, frugal, generous, hardworking, unobtrusively religious, and socially discreet members of the community who raised their three children to be good citizens. They were also enormously kind. Mr. Webster called me “Curly” and let me ride my bike for hours on their nicely paved parking lot. Mrs. Webster—if I was very good—would sometimes let me play with her collection of antique medicine bottles.

The app sent alerts asking people how happy they felt — on an 11-point scale from "not at all" to "extremely" — throughout the day. By analyzing over 3 million submissions from more than 50,000 volunteers, the researchers discovered that on average, people experienced an 8% increase in happiness when they were with friends, compared to a 1.4% increase with parents, and just a 0.7% increase when they were with their children.
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