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That said, we have to be careful, too, not to assume that all arranged marriages across history, or all pragmatic marriages, or all marriages that begin with an act of kidnapping, necessarily resulted in years of contentment. The Websters were lucky, to an extent. (Though they also put a good deal of work into their marriage, one suspects.) But what Mr. Webster and the Hmong people perhaps have in common is a notion that the emotional place where a marriage begins is not nearly as important as the emotional place where a marriage finds itself toward the end, after many years of partnership. Moreover, they would likely agree that there is not one special person waiting for you somewhere in this world who will make your life magically complete, but that there are any number of people (right in your own community, probably) with whom you could seal a respectful bond. Then you could live and work alongside that person for years, with the hope that tenderness and affection would be the gradual outcome of your union.
As a matter of fact, it’s already happening. Now that young girls like my twelve-year-old friend Mai are being exposed to modern Western women like me through crowds of tourists, they’re experiencing those first critical moments of cultural hesitation. I call this the “Wait-a-Minute Moment”—that pivotal instant when girls from traditional cultures start pondering what’s in it for them, exactly, to be getting married at the age of thirteen and starting to have babies not long after. They start wondering if they might prefer to make different choices for themselves, or any choices, for that matter. Once girls from closed societies start thinking such thoughts, all hell breaks loose. Mai- trilingual, bright, and observant- had already glimpsed another set of options for life. It wouldn’t be long before she was making demands of her own. In other words: It might be too late for even the Hmong to be Hmong anymore.
So for example a person with a lot of testosterone would look for a person with high estrogen levels, they would just bond better. Just as much as chemistry is involved, psychology is just as involved in it as well. Everyone has that ideal person that they constantly dream about that they’d wish to be with. Dreaming about what kind of hair they have all the way down to their style, don’t worry this is perfectly normal, it’s common for every people has that perfect person. Sometimes people are overly obsessed with their perfect person, when meeting someone with potential to be with, they apply some of their characteristics to that person and now dont see flaws, this is how one starts to become romantically in love. You are merely in love with the thought of the person, not really in love though. Unknowingly its been proven that within three minutes of meeting a potential partner they already judged them enough to know if they’re the right person for them. When attracting someone, everyone has these chemicals that help trigger sexual interest and excitement of the opposite sex. So if they’re not attracted by their smile, or their eyes, what is it then? Their called pheromones.
Make time for reflection. Finding time to take stock of your experiences and to sit back and consider what the day has brought you can make you happier. You may not be very happy because you feel like you’re just going through the motions and doing have time to just sit still and ask yourself, “What the heck just happened?” Find a time each day – or at least each week – where you can just sit still, stare at some scenery, and think about all of the events that happened to you. You’ll feel a sense of calm and will begin to feel less overwhelmed with everything in front of you, and yes, this will make you happier.
It is a mistake to think that love comics are read only by adolescent and older children. They are read by very young children as well. An eight-year-old girl living in a very comfortable environment on Long Island said, “I have lots of friends and we buy about one comic book a week and then we exchange. I can read about ten a day. I like to read the comic books about love because when I go to sleep at night I love to dream about love.”
“Love” comics had suddenly become popular and so Marvel introduced My Romance in September 1948. Close behind it were Love Romances, Love Adventures, Love Tales, Love Dramas and a load of others, including My Love and Our Love. Again, Marvel was playing follow the leader, and again, some of the titles in this new genre would enjoy unusually long runs. The redundantly titled Love Romances, kept on chronicling the trials of the heartbroken until July, 1963.
5This paper focuses on a particular kind of romance novel, namely the so-called “category romance”. As the name implies, category romances are popular romance novels that are published in a category or series (also called line or imprint), which groups together similar types of romance stories.3 Examples of category romance lines include the Blaze series (featuring sensual romances), the Intrigue line (featuring romances with a suspense subplot) or the Medical Romance imprint (featuring romances set in a medical context). Series membership traditionally determines a large part of the category romance’s identity, which is reflected in the prominent place the series imprint takes up on the category romance’s front cover (see figure 1). The front cover is traditionally also dominated by the eye-catching image of a couple (often partially undressed) locked in a passionate embrace. This image, known within the romance community as the “clinch”, has become an iconic visual marker for popular romance in our culture and renders the novel’s generic identity unmistakable (McKnight-Trontz 17 ; Wendell and Tan 170).
So true, Carolyn - and so telling! As a culture, we spend hours doing research and taking classes on so many other things that have little to do with our happiness - as if the things like buying a car or planning a vacation will bring us true happiness, but we "wing it" when it comes finding what we're looking for in relationships. We limit ourselves to such a great extent because of so much of what you say here - "you only have those around you as examples of what life has to offer." And if those around you are as confused about all this as everyone else, and don't question what the media and culture has taught them, what do you really have? Great comment, Carolyn. I appreciate your adding so much to this conversation.
Isn’t that beautiful? When it comes to God, you don’t have to pick whether you want committed love or compassionate love. He encircles you, surrounds you. You are swimming in and exalted by his committed, compassionate love. He doesn’t just love you legally, which is true, right? Jesus died for your sins, so God loves you and he won’t hold you accountable for a sin that his Son died for. Legally, he loves you in that way. But it is more than that! His heart is moved with compassion for you.
The answer depends upon the definition of happiness, just as what being healthy means depends upon how we define health. Before the advent of modern medicine, many disabilities now considered curable were commonplace. What was once healthy for a forty-year-old is the standard of healthy for a sixty-year-old. Public health and modern medicine have led society to redefine what it means to be healthy.
Wayde seems to be doing a swell job at the agency, until he starts bringing "younger and cruder" girls in to model -- Gloria Porter being one of them. Fran starts to get suspicious of Wayde's intentions when one of the models mysteriously disappears. Wayde admits to running a scheme to steal money from businessmen with the aid of Gloria and the other model recruits. If the models asked to participate refuse, they are quickly done away with.
Afraid of failure? Ego... Curious and hoping to understand this. I want to be happy. Even when facing uncertainly because of health reasons that i can't fix. I have always been afraid I may fail. Have managed to survive and get by. Now im unsure how to let go of the past. I'm 52 and believe the last time i was actually happy was when my 3 yr old grand daughter was born. Im afraid of leaving my wife and family with nothing now. Not even funal expenses if or when it comes to it. How do you let go of the ego?? I'm not sure I have one. But I was once able to figure things out. And overcome any situation we were facing. Now, have this feling of helplessness. But want to at least have a few quality yrs happy helping those around me have peace and sone hapiness in their lives. Help if you feel you can, lead me in the right direction.
Part of being a good world citizen is caring for other human beings, which may include going out of your way sometimes. But when going out of your way for your beloved is less effort and more this-is-just-how-we-behave, you’ve got yourself a keeper and you’re definitely committed. Examples of going out of your way might look like taking your lunch break to run an errand for them, rearranging your travel plans to make sure they get can get the time off to join you, or giving up your car to make sure they make it to that meeting on time (and vice versa, of course). Anything less and there’s no guarantee that you’re relationship is actually a committed one.
He committed to serving people in order to bring them into a relationship with God. He was insulted, humiliated and rejected by the people He made. He could have come to earth as anyone – He chose to become a servant – whose very nature was to be at others’ beck and call. He did not demand His rights – He came to serve people. A servant does not pick and choose how or when they will serve. They are at the disposal of those they serve.
“Father, I am so thankful that Jesus was totally committed to loving us. I am so thankful for the salvation it brought me. I struggle with being committed like that with others. I confess I do more love ‘contributions’ than I commit to loving others. Change my heart for others that I might learn to commit to loving them. I can only do that through your Holy Spirit in me. Amen.”
42Indeed, the core interpretative mechanism uncovered in the material analyses in this paper – the notion that generically initiated readers interpret conventionality differently from readers who are not familiar with the genre’s codes and conventions – has the potential to shed new light on the broader discussion of the role of conventionality in the popular romance genre specifically and other kinds of genre fiction more generally. It stands to reason that the dynamics uncovered in the category romance’s materiality also apply to the text this materiality encloses and represents. Indeed, if we consider this materiality to be a physical manifestation and performative representation of the identity and characteristic traits of the text (as I have implicitly done throughout this discussion), the implications for the role of conventionality in the category romance narrative are potentially far-reaching and call for a renewed examination of the poetic functioning of both romance and other kinds of popular fiction.
People seem to have a pretty good understanding of what love feels like, and we do a good job respecting love as an important feeling. But our culture sends a pretty contradictory message about what commitment is. We say marriage requires love and commitment, and yet somehow “love is all you need” prevails as a logical sentiment. Our collective divorce rate speaks for our confusion.
After all the frogs i have to kiss, I finally met this guy who's great for me in more ways than anyone i have ever met. I am once divorced and once widowed..... he is once divorced. We are both exclusive, dedicated, open communication .... My only thorn on my side is that I was born, raised, and lived my adult life with some traditional values and views..... like engagement and marriage to seal a committed relationship. He says he doesnt want to go that road anymore after his divorce. I just feel, then, that I will forever be his "girlfriend" which feels too casual for me ... where his family members have legal rights to him and I have none.....