How does this apply to dating and mating? Anything that constrains your options, or your partner’s, limits the information contained in the choices you make. That means that some people may routinely misinterpret the behavior of their partners and think that something may signal commitment when it does not. That also means that some couples that have been together a while, with an unclear future, and that also have the constraints that come from living together, may have difficulty reading clearly in each other what they want for the future.

He committed to be sacrificed. He was rejected and despised while He was alive, and then He willingly died a torturous and agonizing death so that we might experience a relationship with the God of the universe. He did not commit to winning a popularity contest. He did not come to get accolades from men. He knew that this committed love would lead to His death.
I used to be such a starry-eyed believer of love. I thought that love conquered all – and that as long as you shared that feeling with someone, it meant that the relationship would last, In the theory of fairytales and movies, this may be the case, but in North American reality – not quite. Instead, love is only one of the many ingredients needed for a long-lasting partnership. But the concerning issue is – people put so much weight on the feeling of love, a feeling that inevitably changes, takes different forms and can get blinded easily.
Smile more. Studies show that smiling more actually does make people feel happier. Even if you don’t feel like you have anything to smile about, trying to smile more than usual will trick your mind into feeling happier. Smiling at the people around you will make them smile back, and being around people who are smiling will also make you feel happier. So, smiling is a win-win situation, even if you feel like frowning instead.[7]

I'm so glad, Daphne, thank you. 🙂 Choose you, don't make him the center of your universe, allow him to be himself and you be yourself and watch and observe if you can live with that. And always remember there is all the support in the world for you, even if it doesn't feel that way. What if it is and we just don't see it? What if it was always there but we've never known where to look? You can't change him, but you can change you. And by making some subtle shifts within ourselves in how and what we see, there's a ripple effect that will affect him too. It always reveals more of the truth of what's underneath. Don't be afraid of change; it's often the only way we see what we're meant to see, and where we're meant to be!
Isn’t that beautiful? When it comes to God, you don’t have to pick whether you want committed love or compassionate love. He encircles you, surrounds you. You are swimming in and exalted by his committed, compassionate love. He doesn’t just love you legally, which is true, right? Jesus died for your sins, so God loves you and he won’t hold you accountable for a sin that his Son died for. Legally, he loves you in that way. But it is more than that! His heart is moved with compassion for you.
It might be that you've started dating a guy and you want to know if he's going to want a committed relationship or if he's going to turn into a stringer (i.e. a guy who strings you along for years only to finally break it off), or maybe you've already been strung along for quite a long time and you want to know how to get him to finally make a commitment.
11 It is interesting, however, that in Romance Writers of America’s 2005 market study only 12% of romance readers indicated a preference for “romantic covers” while 35% indicated a preference for “sedate or abstract covers”. The matter does not seem to be a potential deal breaker, however, as the majority of readers (53%) indicated that they “prefer both types of covers”.

For forty-five days, notice your status frustrations and remind yourself of the hidden advantages of wherever you are as a way to boost serotonin and a way to feel better. Your status will always be going up and down in small ways. Your mammal brain will always keep track of it, as much as you wish it wouldn’t. If you fret over your position, the fretting will never end. You can focus on the positives instead, which will train your brain to feel happier. Once you create this thought habit, you will always have a way to make peace with your mammal brain.
Ironically, the astounding sales of Marvel’s romance-soaked super-hero books helped hasten the demise of traditional romance comics (and other genres.) “The success of the Marvel super-heroes made DC change their priorities and chase Marvel super-heroes,” comments [Dick] Giordano. “Remember that Westerns, mysteries, and crime titles all disappeared to make room for the Spandex crowd.”
To understand the unlikelihood of the Hmong’s continued existence on this planet you have to imagine what it would be like if, for instance, the Mohawk were still living in upstate New York exactly as they had for centuries, dressing in traditional clothing, speaking their own language, and absolutely refusing to assimilate. Stumbling on a Hmong village like this one, then, in the early years of the twenty-first century is an anachronistic wonder. Their culture provides a vanishingly rare window into an older version of the human experience. All of which is to say, if you want to know what your family was like four thousand years ago, they were probably something like the Hmong.
When I arrive at the Condomania offices to meet Filkins, he's finishing up some business on the phone. I wander around his workspace while he talks, peering with mild trepidation into giant candy jars full of tricolor condoms and shiny plastic packets of lube. In one room, I discover a "condomenorah." Condoms of various hues and sizes are attached to nine PVC pipes arranged to resemble Hanukkah lights. Filkins joins me and grins as his colleague flips a switch, sending air through the pipes and allowing me to inspect the wares in their fully operational state.

When I arrive at the Condomania offices to meet Filkins, he's finishing up some business on the phone. I wander around his workspace while he talks, peering with mild trepidation into giant candy jars full of tricolor condoms and shiny plastic packets of lube. In one room, I discover a "condomenorah." Condoms of various hues and sizes are attached to nine PVC pipes arranged to resemble Hanukkah lights. Filkins joins me and grins as his colleague flips a switch, sending air through the pipes and allowing me to inspect the wares in their fully operational state.
That said, we have to be careful, too, not to assume that all arranged marriages across history, or all pragmatic marriages, or all marriages that begin with an act of kidnapping, necessarily resulted in years of contentment. The Websters were lucky, to an extent. (Though they also put a good deal of work into their marriage, one suspects.) But what Mr. Webster and the Hmong people perhaps have in common is a notion that the emotional place where a marriage begins is not nearly as important as the emotional place where a marriage finds itself toward the end, after many years of partnership. Moreover, they would likely agree that there is not one special person waiting for you somewhere in this world who will make your life magically complete, but that there are any number of people (right in your own community, probably) with whom you could seal a respectful bond. Then you could live and work alongside that person for years, with the hope that tenderness and affection would be the gradual outcome of your union.
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     "If a couple tells you that they are married, you know a lot about their commitment. That does not mean that all is perfect, of course. Likewise, if a couple tells you that they have clear, mutual plans to marry, you can infer that there is a lot of commitment. Even apart from marriage, I believe a couple that says they have a lifetime commitment together is telling you something important about a strong level of intention and commitment. Those things all signal commitment. Cohabitation, per se, often does not. (As a complex but important aside, I do think the socioeconomic context of some couples makes marriage nearly impossible; for some of these couples, I believe cohabitation can be a marker of a higher level of commitment.)"

While happiness is experienced inwardly, its sources are mainly external and found in relationships that sustain us. These relationships are not confined to family but include how we relate to work, our communities and the environment. When we treat them well, the likelihood that our deep and abiding interest in being loved and cared for is increased.


Fact: Since it prevents us from accomplishing goals, procrastination diminishes happiness. Avoid putting off tasks and continue working towards your goals in order to give yourself a mental boost. Though conquering something challenging may stress us out while we’re doing it, it also makes us happier in the long run (hey, who doesn’t love an accomplishment?). Plus, when we set goals (and meet or surpass our hopes and expectations), it can help us feel more purpose and control and boosts our self-esteem.
Look out for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, on sale now! Gilbert is the #1 New York Times bestselling author ofEat Pray Love and several other internationally bestselling books of fiction and nonfiction. She began her career writing for Harper's Bazaar, Spin, The New York Times Magazine and GQ, and was a three-time finalist for the National Magazine Award. Her story collection Pilgrims was a finalist for the PEN/Hemingway award;The Last American Man was a finalist for both the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award. The follow-up memoir Committed became an instant #1 New York Times bestseller. Her latest novel, The Signature of All Things, was named a Best Book of 2013 by The New York Times, O Magazine, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, and The New Yorker. Gilbert’s short fiction has appeared in Esquire, Story, One Story, and the Paris Review.
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As a matter of fact, it’s already happening. Now that young girls like my twelve-year-old friend Mai are being exposed to modern Western women like me through crowds of tourists, they’re experiencing those first critical moments of cultural hesitation. I call this the “Wait-a-Minute Moment”—that pivotal instant when girls from traditional cultures start pondering what’s in it for them, exactly, to be getting married at the age of thirteen and starting to have babies not long after. They start wondering if they might prefer to make different choices for themselves, or any choices, for that matter. Once girls from closed societies start thinking such thoughts, all hell breaks loose. Mai- trilingual, bright, and observant- had already glimpsed another set of options for life. It wouldn’t be long before she was making demands of her own. In other words: It might be too late for even the Hmong to be Hmong anymore.
Ah, commitment. I’m a living, breathing example of this study. Much of my 20s was defined by a lack of commitment to a partner. I stumbled around in different relationships, while all along, the relationship I needed to most get right was the one with myself. You have to be right with yourself before you can truthfully expect to commit to someone else.
In the same way, there are things that make you feel happy but may lead to a state of unhappiness. You feel happy in the moment but you mistakenly think this is all there is to happiness. Happiness, like health, needs to be understood in context. Just as you need to take into consideration a person’s age to judge their health, the future needs to be taken into account in order to determine happiness.
To be in a sustainable relationship, you need other things too, and many of them are outside of your control. Love is something you own within, along with your decision to commit to your partner. Other parts of the partnership, however, are very much independent of you. External forces, such as careers, sickness, money, family issues. Your partner’s commitment to you. Your partner’s ability to deal with stress. You can’t control that.
Humans have this insatiable need to live for something greater than themselves. Take the time to appreciate and trust that your life is being guided by something greater than yourself. Understand that every stage of your life is part of a stunning master plan that will work for the greater good of those around you. How can you not feel beyond happy when you embrace the idea you are contributing to the greater good?!
The only thing bothering me is that they went to sleep with whomever visits them saying I love you. And that includes Lauca. How old is she anyway? From her story it seems that she's a veteran in war stuffs, but her appearance looks like a lil girl. What I'm trying to say is age is very hard to determine the word age in every Japanese made characters.

1. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful. When things look really dark, it's hard to feel grateful, but remembering what's good in your life can help put problems into perspective. I have a friend who recently suffered a big disappointment at work. She said to me, "As long as my family is healthy, I can't get too upset about anything." This may sound like hackneyed advice, but it's really true.
Find at least one or more ways each day to treat yourself. That could mean anything from reminiscing over favorite photos, to enjoying a dish of ice cream, to sitting in a park daydreaming, to watching TV or swimming or dancing. If you make a list of favorite activities and feel stuck on a particular day, pull out that list and pick one that feels good to do now. If it serves you to complete one or more tasks before your treat, that works, too. Just know that, right now, you are doing the best you know how to meet your needs. I believe that self-care, self-love and treats are good for all of us.
The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice. (I have a friend who second-guesses herself so compulsively that her husband jokes her autobiography will someday be titled I Should’ve Had the Scampi.) Equally disquieting are the times when we do make a choice, only to later feel as though we have murdered some other aspect of our being by settling on one single concrete decision. By choosing Door Number Three, we fear we have killed off a different—but equally critical—Piece of our soul that could only have been made manifest by walking through Door Number One or Door Number Two.
And so I might have gone on blithely assuming, except that my encounter with the Hmong had knocked me off course in one critical regard: For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that perhaps I was asking too much of love. Or, at least, perhaps I was asking too much of marriage. Perhaps I was loading a far heavier cargo of expectation onto the creaky old boat of matrimony than that strange vessel had ever been built to accommodate in the first place.
At the core of the Dating Syndicate is a relatively untested open source protocol called FOAF (friend of a friend). This is a flavor of XML file that holds data on a person's attributes: body type, interests, friends, and assorted other personal information. Like all XML file types, FOAF files are platform-independent, although Filkins plans to keep all the Dating Syndicate FOAF files on a secure server to ensure user privacy.

"IM is my medium," Burton says with a laugh. "If I can get a girl to respond to my chat message, I'm golden." The trick, he confides, is to deploy certain "social hacks" in the instant message. "Like smiley-face optimization," he says. "You can say anything to a girl if you put a smiley face or a wink after it. I've said things like 'You should come over to my house and have sex with me. :) :) :)' and it's fine because they just think I'm joking. And then, more often than not, they'll come over and have sex with me!"


Suddenly, Officer Mary bursts onto the scene. Wayde produces a gun and tries to shoot the lady cop, but Fran flies in front of her and takes the shot. As Fran crumples to the ground, two other officers appear and shoot and kill Wayde. Gloria is carted off and Officer Mary is thankful that Fran saved her life. Relieved the ordeal is over, Fran is happy to repent for her sins of lust and passion. As she waits in the ambulance, Fran asks for God's forgiveness.

Commitment is marriage. Anything less is a verbal pact. Its is a want. Maybe even a desire. Dating is the introduction to the plan (engagement) of commitment (marriage). I think people also confuse marriage with wedding. The fact that two people can be married without actually being committed is an example of a wedding participant. They like the look but not the effort. Being married is the act of being committed and choosing this day after day. It's the embodiment of dedication and affection and patience... this is commitment. Friends with benefits... well... that's just putting a "free" sign on your personal energy. Sex isn't commitment... and you may find out years into a marriage that you don't have sex anymore, but you are intimate in deeper ways. Being fully committed is just that. There are no degrees to full. A full glass of water is a full glass of water. It's 100%. A half glass is a half glass. When you start to add half full or half empty, the confusion strikes. Fully committed via not half effort. I have a boyfriend that is very sweet, I love him. He loves me. He lives an hour away and his kids live close to him. We will not move forward until everyone is ready. In reality that could mean we never do. He says he's committed so we don't need marriage. I am not hell bent on marriage, but I will not commit myself to someone who doesn't see me worthy of that sort of outward commitment. If it's no big deal, and you don't believe it will make a difference, then why not do it? We are in fact, exclusive. Because dedicated to making it work requires 100% effort on both sides. He has self inflicted restrictions on his end... and I have legal restrictions on my end. (I have kids too) I'm all about making it work... I am dedicated. But not at my own expense. Beacuse of that, we are not committed.
Self-denial for the sake of marriage was especially important where the woman’s career was concerned. Romance comic books discouraged women from entering the work force. Working women in the comic books remained unfulfilled and unhappy because their careers complicated relationships and jeopardized their prospects for marriage.  . . .  Another reason for women to stay out of the workplace, according to romance comic books, was that men were not attracted to ambitious women. . . . . Men, on the other hand, needed and deserved their independence.
And as we have the privilege today to rejoice with some of our brothers and sisters who are taking a big step of baptism, we get to see this pictured in baptism. Part of what’s happening… the water doesn’t save anybody. It’s Christ who saves by grace through faith. But when a person is buried in the likeness of his death, raised in the likeness of his resurrection, we get a picture of hesed love of God, the loyal, committed, covenantal love. It wasn’t anything that person did that earned that love. It was the free love of God committed to that individual to rescue them.
Notice, talk about, and write about what does feel good in your life today. It could be the pancakes for breakfast, the call to or from a dear friend, yoga at the gym, the flowers you saw on your walk, your good vision and hearing, the cleared desk or table, or anything that leads you to more peace and contentment. I sometimes read my list of gratitudes when I’m feeling grumpy or overextended. When I take a few moments to focus on what does feel good, I’m usually much more able to settle down and do what feels important to do.
Commitment is marriage. Anything less is a verbal pact. Its is a want. Maybe even a desire. Dating is the introduction to the plan (engagement) of commitment (marriage). I think people also confuse marriage with wedding. The fact that two people can be married without actually being committed is an example of a wedding participant. They like the look but not the effort. Being married is the act of being committed and choosing this day after day. It's the embodiment of dedication and affection and patience... this is commitment. Friends with benefits... well... that's just putting a "free" sign on your personal energy. Sex isn't commitment... and you may find out years into a marriage that you don't have sex anymore, but you are intimate in deeper ways. Being fully committed is just that. There are no degrees to full. A full glass of water is a full glass of water. It's 100%. A half glass is a half glass. When you start to add half full or half empty, the confusion strikes. Fully committed via not half effort. I have a boyfriend that is very sweet, I love him. He loves me. He lives an hour away and his kids live close to him. We will not move forward until everyone is ready. In reality that could mean we never do. He says he's committed so we don't need marriage. I am not hell bent on marriage, but I will not commit myself to someone who doesn't see me worthy of that sort of outward commitment. If it's no big deal, and you don't believe it will make a difference, then why not do it? We are in fact, exclusive. Because dedicated to making it work requires 100% effort on both sides. He has self inflicted restrictions on his end... and I have legal restrictions on my end. (I have kids too) I'm all about making it work... I am dedicated. But not at my own expense. Beacuse of that, we are not committed.
Oxytocin works both ways. When other people trust you, it feels good whether or not you trust them. You can enjoy more oxytocin by creating opportunities for people to trust you. Handle this strategy with care—you do not want to be the rescuer of everyone you know forty-five days from now. Your goal is simply to feel the pleasure of another person’s trust for a moment each day as a way to feel happier in your daily life. Of course, you can’t force other people to trust you, and it may take more than a moment to extend yourself in ways that build trust. Do not spend a lot of time seeking approval. Simply honor your commitments, and then pause to enjoy being a person who honors her commitments. It may sound self-important, but the circuit it builds is the foundation of future trust. So plan to honor your commitments scrupulously for forty-five days. This is how to feel good simply by increasing trust with yourself and others.

While some factors that affect happiness might be outside of our control (such as genetics or certain life circumstances), there are always actions we can take to amp up our own good feelings. To smile wider, be more satisfied with life, and feel altogether better—both in the present and the future—try introducing any (or all!) of these practices into your life.
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