34The stereotype-driven character of the category romance’s materiality ensures that the public is likely to follow the producers’ primary suggestion and interpret the book in generic terms as a popular romance novel. This interpretation is achieved via the repetitive material invocation of numerous widespread stereotypes that surround the genre in our culture. Although this strategy reinforces and perpetuates a very clichéd cultural image of the genre, one of its major interpretative benefits is that such stereotypes can be interpreted – decoded – by a huge and diversified audience. This public intelligibility of its material code is an important commercial consideration for a book that circulates in a wide variety of cultural and commercial spaces frequented by a wide variety of consumers.
It's because of our culture, our programming, the double-standard that we feel even as we know, as you say, Kate, that he could have been doing the same thing as well! The messages for women - and the labels attached to them - are so strong! It's why I always get such resistance when I suggest dating (not sleeping with) a few men at a time. And yet, it's doing exactly this that keeps everything in balance and keeps you from jumping too far ahead with anyone before they've shown you that they're truly worthy of you!
The first one is “hesed,” which is God’s covenantal, loyal love. You could you could describe that as commitment love, committed love. He crowns us, he surrounds us. He exalts us to a place of living in his committed, loyal, durable, enduring, steadfast love. The kind of love that does not fluctuate with feelings. The kind of love that does not change whether you have a good day or a bad day or you wake up feeling like a Christian or a pagan. It’s a steadfast, loyal love. He surrounds us with that loyal love.
I thought I was ready for the C word, but came to realize I'm afraid. I've been hurt time and time again, and I finally found someone that was willing to put me first. I met this great guy online, who lived 13hrs away, only thing is; we had nothing in common. We started a long distance relationship. He wanted everything I wanted. After a few months of dating he wanted to take it further, he started looking at rings- I panicked. How can we take that step and we barely knew anything about each other? I didn't want to make the biggest mistake of my life, for the rest of my life. We did the back and forth to see each other, but our incompatibility started getting to me. He was night, I was day and I found myself being mean and distant. I eventually broke it off, because I didn't like who I was with him. It broke him. I maintained contact with the promise of rekindling the relationship once we established a friendship, during this time he was still attentive and never skipped a beat. About 2 weeks ago he became distant, then he told me he's seeing someone; I am crushed to say the least. Did I sabotage this relationship? Why did I run, when I got almost everything I asked for? Am I crushed because I care or is it my ego and I will get over it? I am so confused, I don't know what to do. I want to call him and beg him to give me another chance, but I'm afraid my feelings will betray me and I will hurt him all over again. I don't want to be selfish, but I can't help but think I'm possibly letting my future go. What should I do?
Much like yawning and a case of the giggles, happiness really is contagious. One study found that happiness has a waterfall effect among pals (and their pals… and their pals’ pals). When one person’s happy, it spreads to his or her friends and entire social network over the long term. Pretty much the most awesome way to influence other people, right?
The rationale: Feeling happy comes down to where you direct your thoughts. What are you thinking about most often? To take control of your focus, you have to feed your mind. What you feed your mind is what you become. So to become the best possible you, you need to give your mind the most nutritious content possible. To put it another way, Jim Rohn said, “Every day, you have to stand guard at the door of your mind.” Why? Because the longer you hold things – ideas, thoughts, feelings – in there, the more you start to accept them unconsciously. And then you start to develop meanings that take over your life, likely in ways that won’t serve you.
Vacations usually happen over the course of several days and can sometimes take several weeks, so if you’re going to take company along you’ll want to make sure you really like them. You’re also making memories that last for a lifetime. Generally speaking, people who take vacations together not only enjoy each other’s company, but are happy to make memories together, so if you take vacations together it’s a good sign that you and your love are truly committed.
When it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle, eating well is clutch—especially since the nutrients you consume improve your mental health as much as your physical well-being. Case in point: Research finds that happiness and mental well-being are highest among people who eat a good amount of fruit and vegetables per day (seven portions, in this case). Check out this long list of mood-boosting nutrients here, and fill up your plate with the good stuff.
Falling in love with another person is a wonderful feeling, but it is not a permanent emotion. Love can be permanent, but it is different from falling in love because it is a mature aspect of the feeling. Love contains many different emotions that are expressed as ideals, and a few of these are caring, duty and compassion. Even if the love fades, aspects of these emotions may remain between the couple. Love might be ignited again as life continues to change, but it might also disappear completely.
“The Pew Research Center reports that millennials are significantly less likely to be married than previous generations in their 20s. And a recent Gallup poll found that the percentage of 18 to 29-year-olds who say they are single and not living with a partner rose from 52 percent in 2004 to 64 percent in 2014. Marriage among 30-somethings also dropped 10 percentage points during that decade, while the percentage living together rose from 7 to 13 percent.” Source
Join the Human Defense Department's last ditch effort to save the world: by teaching the brightest students in the nation how to hack and scramble the brains of the enemy. Follow the journey of Mina Lovelace as she seeks to prove herself worthy of following in her mother's footsteps. And also tries not to embarrass herself in front of her childhood crush in the process!
26The line name is yet another element that is interpreted differently by the public and the romance reader. While to the public the name denotes a simple narrative profile, for the romance reader familiar with the romance genre’s refined system of lines it functions as a code for a more complex and composite narrative profile (cf. supra). This difference in interpretation or codification of the line name is particularly important in lines that appear to be quite similar. For example, Harlequin currently publishes two sensual lines, Harlequin Blaze and Harlequin Desire. The public is presumably unable to differentiate between these two lines since the names suggest similar erotic profiles, but the experienced romance reader is aware of the differences in the lines’ respective compound narrative profiles.13 Whereas the public interprets these names as a codification of similarity, the romance reader interprets the line names as a codification of difference.
Susan Lee Mintz is a baby-boomer, motivational speaker, author, lecturer and fitness guru from Troy, New York. She encourages and supports people by promoting wellness through diet, exercise, and "healthy choices." After the loss of her husband Jeffrey, Susan began searching for comfort and support which she later found through writing, exercise, cooking, and her faith. Susan still resides in Boca Raton, Florida.
To be in a state of Happi-ness there has to be a complete absence of ego. Ego being a state of mind (identity) - acquired from the past - which continuously seeks to connect with an uncertain future ( and remains forever fearful of the outcome). So, when the chaotic mind is free of incessant and noisy thoughts (the ego) and becomes quiet and aware(conscious) of a calm... then, and ONLY then does Happi-ness prevail.
And so I might have gone on blithely assuming, except that my encounter with the Hmong had knocked me off course in one critical regard: For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that perhaps I was asking too much of love. Or, at least, perhaps I was asking too much of marriage. Perhaps I was loading a far heavier cargo of expectation onto the creaky old boat of matrimony than that strange vessel had ever been built to accommodate in the first place.
But maybe it would be useful for me to at least acknowledge to myself now, on the eve of my second marriage, that I, too, ask for an awful lot. Of course I do. It’s the emblem of our times. I have been allowed to expect great things in life. I have been permitted to expect far more out of the experience of love and living than most other women in history were ever permitted to ask. When it comes to questions of intimacy, I want many things from my man, and I want them all simultaneously. It reminds me of a story my sister once told me, about an Englishwoman who visited the United States in the winter of 1919 and who, scandalized, reported back home in a letter that there were people in this curious country of America who actually lived with the expectation that every part of their bodies should be warm at the same time! My afternoon spent discussing marriage with the Hmong made me wonder if I, in matters of the heart, had also become such a person—a woman who believed that my lover should magically be able to keep every part of my emotional being warm at the same time.
The only thing bothering me is that they went to sleep with whomever visits them saying I love you. And that includes Lauca. How old is she anyway? From her story it seems that she's a veteran in war stuffs, but her appearance looks like a lil girl. What I'm trying to say is age is very hard to determine the word age in every Japanese made characters.
I ran into a friend, who I have known for about 8 years ( he was actually a former teacher of mine at the University although he is younger than me. haha). Anyway, he invited me to sit with him and we had some fun conversation. He asked if he could walk me to my car when I was ready to leave and I said yes. Long story short, he kissed me. Honestly, I did not feel anything. It was almost like kissing my brother as they say. I felt a little guilty because I know he knows the guy who I am "dating". I felt like I did something wrong, yet I know Matt and I are not exclusive. I know he has active dating website accounts. Why do I feel so bad about this when for all I know could have kissed someone else last night as well?
a zone not only of transition but also transaction : a privileged place of pragmatics and strategy, of an influence on the public, an influence that – whether well or poorly understood and achieved – is at the service of a better reception of the text and a more pertinent reader of it (more pertinent, of course, in the eyes of the author and his allies). (2)
8. Act toward other people the way you wish they’d act toward you. If you wish your friends would help you find someone to date, see if you can fix up a friend. If you wish people would help you find a job, see if you can help someone else find a job. If you can’t think of a way to help someone you know, do something generous in a more impersonal way. For instance: commit to being an organ donor! When you’re feeling very low, it can be hard to muster the energy to help someone else, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Do good, feel good; it really works.
1For the last few decades romance has been the popular genre par excellence in the English-speaking world. With sales figures that average around $ 1.36 billion a year, a readership of nearly 75 million people in the U.S. alone and a 13.4 % share of the American consumer book market in 2011, the popular romance novel is by far the best-selling genre in America (“About the Romance Genre”). In 2010 a staggering 8,240 new romance titles were released in the U.S., and 469 of these novels became national or international bestsellers. Harlequin, the most important romance publisher in the world, “publishes over 110 titles a month in 31 languages in 111 international markets on six continents” (“About Harlequin”). On average, the company sells about 130 million books a year (“Over Ons”) ; since its inception in the mid-twentieth century an astounding total of over 6 billion popular romance novels have been sold by this publisher alone (“About Harlequin”).
Another thought provoking post! Thank you for all you do.To me truthfulness and trust are the base for a long term relationship. Mutual respect is also a major component, and although theoretically both partners are supposed to work at making it , i think the man plays a more important role, in that if he is a responsible provider andis supportive and caring of his partners feelings, the relationship has much better chances of working out. The problem is how to find such a guy 🙂
6 Although it falls outside the scope of this paper to give a complete overview of the romance genre’s conventions, the most important of these have to do with the basic plot of the romance narrative. An authoritative account of this plot is articulated by romance scholar Pamela Regis, who claims the romance narrative has eight conventional elements: “a definition of society, always corrupt, that the romance novel will reform; the meeting between the heroine and the hero; an account of their attraction for each other; the barrier between them; the point of ritual death; the recognition the fells the barrier; the declaration of heroine and hero that they love each other; and their betrothal” (Regis, A Natural History of the Popular Romance Novel 14).
Catnaps, power naps, a full night’s sleep… no matter the method, a quality snooze session is vital for overall well-being and happiness. In fact, research shows that not sleeping enough (four hours per night) may lead to lower levels of optimism. And other studies show skimping on sleep can damage our on-the-job performance and academic performance. The cost of poor sleep: workplace productivity loss and associated costs. Rosekind MR, Gregory KB, Mallis MM. Journal of occupational and environmental medicine / American College of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 2010, Apr.;52(1):1536-5948. Sleep and academic performance in undergraduates: a multi-measure, multi-predictor approach. Gomes AA, Tavares J, de Azevedo MH. Chronobiology international, 2012, Mar.;28(9):1525-6073. Your best bet: Load up on your vitamin Zzz’s for a healthier, happier life.