Ah, commitment. I’m a living, breathing example of this study. Much of my 20s was defined by a lack of commitment to a partner. I stumbled around in different relationships, while all along, the relationship I needed to most get right was the one with myself. You have to be right with yourself before you can truthfully expect to commit to someone else.
[T]he public is not the totality of the sum of readers.… For a book…it seems to me that the public is nominally an entity more far-flung than the sum of its readers because that entity includes, sometimes in a very active way, people who do not necessarily read the book (or at least not in its entirety) but who participate in its dissemination and in its “reception”.… The reader as conceived by the author…is, to the contrary,…a person who reads the text in toto.… The public as defined here, therefore, extends well and often actively beyond the sum total of readers. (74-75)
Negative thoughts are nasty, powerful, and all too easy to dwell upon—and it goes without saying that doing so can make us feel pretty bummed. One way to relieve your mind: Jot it all down. Try writing down your negative thoughts on a piece of paper, and then throwing the piece of paper away. Research suggests that physically tossing your worries can lessen their hold over you. On the flipside, if you document positive experiences that you feel grateful for, you’re likely to feel happier and more satisfied with life. And if you really want to boost your mood, phone a friend and share some of your happy journal entries—doing so may triple your positive feelings.

8One of the consequences of this system is that category romances are highly conventional. All category romance novels share the overall conventions of the romance genre,6 but within this encompassing generic framework each category romance also incorporates the conglomerate of conventions that characterize the line in which it is published. As a result, conventionality is pivotal to nearly every aspect of the category romance story and text. These conventions are, moreover, strongly enforced by editors and publishers, who act as gatekeepers guarding the genre and line profiles. Narratives that do not incorporate the various conventions are simply not published in the category romance system.7 The strong conventionality that consequently marks the category romance novel is often interpreted as a characteristic that renders the category romance an aesthetically inferior form, and it is frequently cited as one of the main reasons for the format’s low cultural status.8
“Father, I am so thankful that Jesus was totally committed to loving us. I am so thankful for the salvation it brought me. I struggle with being committed like that with others. I confess I do more love ‘contributions’ than I commit to loving others. Change my heart for others that I might learn to commit to loving them. I can only do that through your Holy Spirit in me. Amen.”
Whether you are divorced, getting married, or even happily married, you just have to love how Liz looks at Marriage from every possible angle…especially from the perspective that since she'd been unlucky at it once, she was sure she never wanted to make that mistake again! Her absolute obsession with deconstructing marriage will entertain you and make you think about it long after you've finished reading it. She gives a cross-cultural examination to how people view and feel about marriage, and still, she can't conclude why some marriages work and some don't…only that she's terrified of being unhappy. The love of her life, Felipe, whom we met in Eat, Pray, Love, is unable to enter the USA and unless she marries him the miles of red tape will keep him out of the US for ever. In the mean time, they travel the world in order to stay together while working on making a life together in the US. She seems to think that if she turns herself inside out and reveals all her shortcomings, it will be best in terms of full disclosure. It doesn't matter, when someone you love so much loves you back the way you need to be loved, and that's what Liz discovers while wearing Felipe out and finally figuring out how best to be what he needs and how to provide that for him. They are a precious couple even if they don't fit the perfect rubric of what it takes to make a perfect and lasting marriage. Nobody does, nobody ever will, and in the end, this is a love story, built on the love stories of her parents and the strong women in her life. Marriage is not for the faint of heart, and this should be required pre-Cana reading.

Well how does committed love differ? Committed love not only having the romantics that romantic love has, but it has so much more. A couple that has committed love don’t just focus on  the romantic part of the relationship, they support each other, they love each other beyond those who are romantically in love. Those that have committed love are looking at a better future for their relationship. When in love, there are actually a lot of chemicals help people feel the butterflies in their stomach, when they start to feel hot, their palms get sweaty. This is pure chemistry taking place.
Love isn't rational. It can't be controlled. If you allow a feeling that is so emotional and malleable to dictate your behaviour, you'll realise quickly that it only pans out when things are up, not when they're down. Commitment on the other hand, will guide you through both. Commitment is not dependant on the heartstrings, it's dependant on a conscious choice you make - and that, is something you have complete control over.
I so agree with Centaine, Karen , and Jane. Well said ladies! This has opened my mind to search deeper within and figure out what commitment means to me. I think it is very important to also build a friendship first and like they say "marry your best friend " I encourage all women who desire love and true commitment like me to keep the faith! We have to believe we will have it and that's the excitement and motivation for me each day, to know that I will soon find my best friend/partner . I recommend the book I started reading called "The Secret" it teaches about the law of attraction. I find it so helpful and inspirational for my daily living and feeling good about finally finding the commitment I want. Another great post Jane! <3
Naima Ramos-Chapman: I identify as black, but I think I present sort of racially ambiguous. So a lot of the times I feel exotified by people who look at me and kind of project their fantasies of what they hope I might be ... And often I find that people kind of say, "Are you sure that you're just black?" or "Are you sure that you're just regular black?" And it kind of comes off very offensive ...
The gameplay is very approachable! I liked fixing small parts of the code by clicking through it to do different choices, even though I do have experience with programming. Manually typing code is a nightmare, but when I wanted to truly learn and understand the code (what is it about) there's a pretty useful and entertaining Dictionary that explains what a particular word of the code does what. It explains semicolons, curly brackets, arguments, class names (what is a class about?) to even mundane numbers! I spent a lot of time reading the code and the Dictionary and just understanding the code even though I knew the choices I made was correct at the time, and when I got it wrong because I didn't read properly, the characters talk out the problem and give further explanations about the code and what I had to do.
You may think it’s impossible to clean out closets or renegotiate relationships in ten-minute chunks. But if you wait for grand solutions, you will languish for quite a long time. Instead, go to that closet, pull out one chunk of mess, and sort it out for ten minutes. Go to that yucky relationship riddled with disappointment and plant goodwill for ten minutes. You might not feel happier right away, but don’t let a day go by without tackling another chunk. Keep it up for forty-five days and you will be comfortable tackling the annoyances that stand in the way of making your life feel better.
5. Look for meaning. Re-frame an event to see the positive along with the negative. Maybe getting fired will give you the push you need to move to the city where you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe your illness has strengthened your relationships with your family. You don’t need to be thankful that something bad has happened, but you can try to find positive consequences even in a catastrophic event.
Love commitment might be just another phrase, but it has a deep meaning. Any and every relationship requires commitment to cement it and make it strong. But what is commitment? Is it just a promise, or much more? What is committed love? Is it any different from ‘just’ love? Now that’s a question I’ve heard many people ask and ponder over. So let’s take a look at some points that show what is committed love.
Just a few years ago, Mrs. Webster passed away. A few months after her death, I went out to dinner with Mr. Webster, and we got to talking about his wife. I wanted to know how they had met, how they had fallen in love—all the romantic beginnings of their life together. I asked him all the same questions, in other words, that I would eventually ask the Hmong ladies in Vietnam, and I got the same sorts of replies—or lack of replies. I couldn’t dredge up a single romantic memory from Mr. Webster about the origins of his marriage. He couldn’t even remember the precise moment when he had first met Lillian, he confessed. She had always been around town, as he recalled. It was certainly not love at first sight. There was no moment of electricity, no spark of instant attraction. He had never become infatuated with her in any way.
The risk of romantic love being our definition of real love (common for people who see real love as a “feeling” rather than a “choice”), is that it cannot be sustained for anyone. If we saw it this way, then we may always be chasing it, never staying with someone long enough to move into “committed love”, and never really being satisfied in a relationship. Plus all of that intensity gets exhausting after awhile! Those fantasies are also quite a burden for the other person to carry, and how disappointed we can be when they don’t live up to those earlier visions! “You’re not the person I fell in love with”. And why does this happen with a specific person? That’s also for another post.

Create a daily ritual to help make you strong. Tony uses a cold plunge. The shock of jumping into cold water gets blood and oxygen flooding throughout the body, improving circulation and activating the body’s natural healing powers. Your daily ritual might be a morning run through your neighborhood to jump-start your energy and get your metabolism firing up early.
As a matter of fact, it’s already happening. Now that young girls like my twelve-year-old friend Mai are being exposed to modern Western women like me through crowds of tourists, they’re experiencing those first critical moments of cultural hesitation. I call this the “Wait-a-Minute Moment”—that pivotal instant when girls from traditional cultures start pondering what’s in it for them, exactly, to be getting married at the age of thirteen and starting to have babies not long after. They start wondering if they might prefer to make different choices for themselves, or any choices, for that matter. Once girls from closed societies start thinking such thoughts, all hell breaks loose. Mai- trilingual, bright, and observant- had already glimpsed another set of options for life. It wouldn’t be long before she was making demands of her own. In other words: It might be too late for even the Hmong to be Hmong anymore.
He committed to be sacrificed. He was rejected and despised while He was alive, and then He willingly died a torturous and agonizing death so that we might experience a relationship with the God of the universe. He did not commit to winning a popularity contest. He did not come to get accolades from men. He knew that this committed love would lead to His death.

Falling in love with another person is a wonderful feeling, but it is not a permanent emotion. Love can be permanent, but it is different from falling in love because it is a mature aspect of the feeling. Love contains many different emotions that are expressed as ideals, and a few of these are caring, duty and compassion. Even if the love fades, aspects of these emotions may remain between the couple. Love might be ignited again as life continues to change, but it might also disappear completely.

While some factors that affect happiness might be outside of our control (such as genetics or certain life circumstances), there are always actions we can take to amp up our own good feelings. To smile wider, be more satisfied with life, and feel altogether better—both in the present and the future—try introducing any (or all!) of these practices into your life.

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